Oh that makes senceQuote from Newbek
The Party Escort Bot shall get you back on your bed and use health potions,so please assume the party escort submission position.
But seerusly,i bet the dumb Squidward villagers take you back to bed. I wonder how they find you.. maybe through a dove that tells the villagers the coordinates you died at and then they go all double bow on dem monsters and then they get on a chopper and escort you back to bed AND THROW GLASS BOTTLES AT YOU FILLED WITH HEALING MAGIC.
Quote from SparkzHD
No, I'm fairly certain that the game is just written so that when you die you respawn at your spawn point. Which, if you have slept there, is your bed.
Lighten up its just a little theory.I know its just part of the games progaming but imagine you were in minecraft.What would take you back to your bed?Quote from sc1020
It isn't that reasonable. It's like saying "how do you respawn?" Sleeping in a bed changes the respawn point. That's that.
I am n4m31355 I left because if you read what ssc just said it scared me and i didnt want to die.and even if i did get any coords i never gave them away or anything.also i never said i took their coords or took anythign from the chests.Quote from redbulldog98
Hey I see that one of the rules at spawn is no betrayal, yet n4m31335 said he needed a faction, joined ours, then left in about 10 seconds and said he took our coordinates. He then proceeded to offer them directly to our enemy Fluxion (lead by ssc which enemied us first). I just thought it was really unfair that all we wanted to do was give him a place to stay, food, and armor, but he betrays us which is also breaking the rules. And it seems by the way they were talking to each other that ssc planned the whole thing on purpose. I even heard him say it was fine because he's used to big faction servers.
Anyways here is a pic of it happening:
Im not going to change it due to tthe fact i was bored and wrote it for no reason,sorry.Quote from Immortus
Not bad. The writing itself is quite nice, and it conveys the feelings of the character very well. I enjoyed reading it. The ending felt a little anti-climax though. Maybe the man in the house could have come out? I would also suggest to describe your surroundings in a more detailed way... For example, are you in a plain? In a forest? In a desert? Tell me what the house looks like, what your surroundings look like.
My favourite analogy to use for writing is that you are a painter, but instead of paints you use words. Paint a picture in the mind of the reader.
The only other thing I would suggest is to improve grammar. The way I find easiest to correct my work is to go through it and correct basic mistakes first, such as spelling, capitals and commas, and then move onto the more fiddly stuff, such as apostrophise (Oh those annoy me so much when I write).
If you could do that, this short story would be brilliant. Well done.