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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    "..."

    "..."

    "..."
    "That 99% dodge chance had better be part of the What modifier. Especially since the homing missile doesn't have the damage output to take it down in one shot if we really need to."


    I look for a sneaky path. For some reason, my pathing AI is godawful, so I eventually end up sneaking right on top of the ADVENT trooper. As in, literally climbing up him, walking over his head, and back down the other side. Somehow, this works, because stealthy stupidity.

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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    Vote for heavy ballistics, I kinda want to contact Argentina if possible. Just to see what's up there.

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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    "...Did counterattack not proc or something? Fairly sure I'd've killed that guy had I smacked him again, and he's in melee range, so I don't see why it wouldn't happen..."


    ...


    "Eh, to hell with it."


    I proceed to pummel whatever's left of the mimic, then glance around for another target. Preferably one that I can walk up to... If there be a target I can walk up to, I walk up to that target to clobber them. Otherwise, crab boolit time.

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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I pick Counterattack as me trait, increase my MD, then calmly reload the crab claw while looking the mimic in the eye.


    "Hmm... I wonder if clone inferiority is in effect."


    Beat.


    "Shall we test that?"

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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    It occurs to me I should do a thing. Thus, I look around. There's a dude in range 1 of me who isn't a friendly.


    "..."


    Logical conclusion is logical, SMACK DAT SOLJA BOI

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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I move as close to the mimic as possible, then look it in the eye.


    "...Okay, keep mimicking me."


    I proceed to stand there and do nothing in the hope that the mimic will actually do what I requested it to do and mimic my doing nothing. I mean, it's either that or clobber the hell out of it.

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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    Welp, time for me to do a thing for once and chase down the lieutenant, maybe grab him with crab and drag him back into the middle of the team. That's totally a thing I can do, right?

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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I'll just spend the time investigating how to make my armor less prone to breaking when hit with a whole lot of force. Because, you know. Something like that happening again in battle could prove crippling to me.

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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    "You cannot kill me, I'm already dead!"


    ...


    "Wait, no, that makes no sense. If I were dead, I wouldn't be alive."


    Eh, better get around to doing what I can do. Namely, firing a "oh no I are dead" sidearm at the siegemaster if dead, or beaning him across the face with a crab claw if not dead. Backing off for a bit is also something I feel like doing so I can get an armor repair from somebody or something.

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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    "...So, this is a legal move, right?"


    I promptly use the crab claw to stab the siegemaster in the face, go absolutely nowhere, and just stand there and slowly reload the crab claw bullet by bullet. It has occurred to me that I'd probably pump out more DPS with a different type of weapon, such as a crossbow, but then I'd lose out on... crit chance, was it? When has crit chance helped, actually, come to think of it?

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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    "...Have you ever heard the tragic tale of the stoning of Saint Bluntninja?"


    I stare at the siegemaster. I'd probably be grinning, but for some reason I don't have a proper face in this game. Because I haven't really defined appearance enough yet, not because of any sort of eldritch trickery.


    Probably.


    "How about a recreation?"


    Cue overuse of too many grenades on the siegemaster. The use of so many grenades, in fact, that he might be crippled by the blunt impact damage of the grenades, rather than the explosive force from all of them exploding in his face at once.

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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    ...Knew I was forgetting something.


    "C'MERE U LIL BUGGER NOBODY SCRATCHES MY ARMOR AND GETS AWAY WITH IT"


    Cue me charging at the siegemaster and trying to shoot him with the claw of a crab. Because... uh... why not?

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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    I move up to cyber soldier 1.


    "Please stop being a bother."


    Cue the claw whack.

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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.
    "...Yep, reloading a crab claw. This totally makes sense."

    I reload.

    "How does one even... make ammo for a claw? Like, does this thing just shoot chitin rounds or something?"
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    posted a message on Rise of the Coalition | That's all she wrote.

    If my inability to do things has worn off, I clobber the cryptarch. If it hasn't, I stand there like an idiot because... seriously, all my options have been disabled.

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