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I would like to inform you all that I got tired of dealing with the forum’s lagginess and teensy-tiny editing window, and so typed this up in Microsoft Word. You’ll have to pardon any differences in appearance. I might do this more, depending on how well it worked.

Quote from BioShock_Rulesnext

I start placing my materials around Brewsky, using my tongue to hold them together.

Weak barrier added! +10 XP!

Quote from ManiacMasteRnext

I build a brick wall around Brewsky, pushing Humpty Dumpty off the wall in the process.

Weak barrier added! +10 XP!

Quote from ka_doink1234o0next

I build a giant tower to conceal Brewsky in. But the Fighter Warrior sees through the disguise and tries to Destroy the Tower. First, he tries to hit the tower with a juggling club. But the tower absorbs it, making itself stronger! Then the Fighter Warrior places C4 on the side of the tower, hoping to knock it over with the blast. But the tower uses the explosion to fuse its parts tighter, making itself stronger! Then he attacks with resonating dubstep. However, the tower loves dubstep, making itself stronger! Then the Warrior FUS RO DAHs at it! But the tower counters with a HAD OR SUF, and adds two Rs, making it hard or surf! The hard makes the tower harder, the surf makers the tower cooler, and both end up making the tower stronger! The Fighter Warrior sends an army of endermen at the tower to break it using a bunch of spawn eggs. But the endermen randomly pull dirt from the ground and then place it on the tower, making the tower stronger! He then digs the dirt up under the tower, hoping it will fall. But then the dirt is carried away by the endermen and placed back on the tower, and also gravity doesn't exist, making the tower stronger! But then, a heroic recycle bin appears out of nowhere, and reinforces the tower with its rubbish, increasing the tower's defense and making the tower stronger! This recycle bin is angrily beat up by the Fighter Warrior for it interfering with his attack on the tower, and an army of tower defenders come out of the woodworks (of the tower) starting an all-out war between the defenders and the attacker(s)! A gigantic mecha by the name of Terratron is built by the Fighter Warrior, but the defenders break it down into pieces, and then the tower absorbs it! A mysterious statue whose mysteriousity is rivaled only be its statuosity is constructed, but it suddenly gets sucked into the tower! Then the Terratron returns, and explodes the Fighter Warrior away from the tower forever, thus allowing it to rebuild itself a lot!

Super-strong barrier added! +40 XP!

Quote from Knight3165next

I borrow Brewski's brewing kit to brew a broth to just the right specifications that when i drink it, i am whisked away to an alternate dimension filled with power-ups that heal one point of health each. I then run around for approximately 142 minutes putting as many as i can into a pouch i made seven months, nine days ago that is labeled "Pouch for storage of seemingly useless power-ups found in alternate dimensions". How specifically suited this pouch is for the purpose of picking up these power-ups suddenly hits me, making me wonder why i'd make such a specific pouch, so i look through my scattered notes. After 48 minutes, i finally come across the correct set of notes, which i then begin to look through for reasons i would craft such a pouch. After reading all of those notes, i find that all this has made me quite hungry, so i go back to where i entered the dimension and drink the rest of the broth, bringing me back to the inside of the robot. I then steal a random pie and eat all of it to replenish the energy i used in that ordeal. Then i remember that i had found the reason for the pouch, and pull a string on the inside of it, converting it into a chain gun, and i start firing the +1 HP powerups at Tazz.

+115 HP to Tazz! +23 XP!

LEVEL UP! +5 HP! +2 MD! +2 Mana cap! +.5 Mana regen!

Quote from The_Nonexistent_Tazznext

Meanwhile, in the thrawls of the Multiverse, TT2K has just made the most creative idea for defending the Owl Shield in DTG2 ever made! His fingers have typed for ages and he has literally sweat out bullets in his quest for greatness! But barring any unforeseeable accidents, he has just made a move that will forever define the forum game and make him a living legend! Unfortunately he can't really remember it on his own and forgot to put this down anwyhere else, but such was his creative fervors!

I then tap him on the shoulder, and remind him that I was guarding neither Net nor Omglols but rather Generic. He turns to face me, giving me somewhat compelling evidence but refusing to undo his damage to me, at which point he turns back and realizes I've managed to ninja-delete all of his work, but memorized it! After a copious amount of bartering, he agrees to the information back in exchange for some HP, because there's no real point in killing off Net. He agrees and resumes doing what he was doing, only to realize that all of his previous statement was stupid and realizes that what he does is not going to work nearly as well as he thought it was. Ah well! Back to the drawing board.

Back in Infinite War, I use the knowledge of TT2K's ultimate original defensive maneuver to generate a completely different ultimate original defensive maneuver of my own! People stare at it a while before finally being able to do things productive again, such is it's limitless creativity and originality. Well, in-universe anyways. I supplement it with considerable amounts of HearthStone Cards, which are then collected by some of the world's most evil Hearthstone Players (like, legit evil, no-one will care for their passing, legit legit about this), which I then trap with the spirit of attaching beefy things to shields.

I ask why the Fighter Warrior bothered with the crazy package if he wasn't going to be on that much.

So…you’re trying to heal yourself over a mistake I actually DIDN’T make, AND set up a barrier? Okay.

+50 HP to yourself! Medial barrier added! +31 XP!

Enderofall: What? I just…wanted it, I guess.

Quote from Pricey12345next

I Respawn

You don’t respawn! You just wait a turn, and you’ll get back up automatically.

Quote from Netpathamnext

I build a Hypercube around Brewsky, with lots of third-dimensional whacking-people bits.

I then ask if Blue's accusations are in fact true.

((I have a plan. NO-ONE REVEAL WHAT BLUE ACCUSES RED OF DOING))

You can’t build a barrier, because you have the negative status condition that is DEATH. But, your voice reaches Enderofall from the Minecraft afterlife…

Enderofall10000: What? Of course I believe that Blue’s accusations are true, but…are you trying to do some trick thing?

Quote from BioShock_Rulesnext

I start making a lot of very bad pixel art to conceal Brewsky, including a horrible attempt at making a giant creeper, a Bal-27, the Lost, and Mega Man. None of my pixel art even closely resembles what they're supposed to be, and they're rather creepy. Annoyed, I break them all down and reconstruct them as pixel art of a brick wall. It actually resembles a wall, and it begins functioning as one.

Medial barrier added! +20 XP!

Quote from Fseftrnext

So attacking him is completely pointless but still gives XP? Excellent. Also, my abilities don't seem to be charging.

I use flaming destruction, and slice at Enderofall so half heartedly that he catches it and half his heart explodes.

Truly, that was the best use of my ability.

Ah, I forgot ability charge again! You’ll all charge at double-speed this turn to make up for it!

Enderofall stares you in the face so hard you fall over, before you can even use your ability! You gain no XP, because I only let you have it to take the sting out of your attacks failing, and now you’re trying to abuse it!

Quote from Pricey12345next

I Hide Behind the Wall and i Cannot Touch the Box Because Enderofall is so Powerful he can Destroy us

Okay?

Quote from The_Nonexistent_Tazz jump

I blow my whistle, and immediately a horde of TARDISes appear! Out of the TARDISes come a metric ton of Engineers, all of whom have some odd mechanical arm! They quickly throw out a horde of mini-sentries, then transform their arms into Short Circuits! The Fighter-Warrior laughs, but then realizes that those are pre-nerf Short Circuits, which was so devastating that the most powerful offensive tool in the game, buffed beyond all reason, was utterly helpless against it. While he ponders his strategy for taking out the Mini-Sentries and the Short Circuit Engineers, I've managed to place about a thousand Dispensers in a strategic multi-layer fortification, dispensing critical metal to the Engineers and ensuring that they will forever be able to hold the Fighter Warrior off, barring any inconceivable instances. I take the TARDISes and immediately place them in a wall behind the Dispenser Wall just in case. Suddenly, out of the TARDISes come Medics with a ready ubercharge, which renders them and the people the Medic decide to heal invulnerable for a whooping eight seconds. They can target the Engineers outside for those eight seconds, further reinforcing the barrier via defensive techniques!

Strong barrier added! +30 XP!

LEVEL UP! +17 HP! +2 MD!

ENEMY PHASE:

Enderofall sees that he has 2 weak barriers, 2 medial barriers, a strong barrier, and a super-strong barrier in front of him! He starts with his wave attack, easily smashing the weak barriers! Then, he brings in a giant tank of his own, literally made of fire (after he’s drunk a fire resistance potion), and uses it to roll straight over the medial barriers! Finally, he leaps into the air and grabs a basketball hoop! He sets it up so the hoop is located 10000000 feet in the air. Then, he grabs the strong and super-strong barrier, and hold them up in the air near the hoop! They just KNOW they’re about to be slam-dunked, so they wait in fear, with the fear slowly increasing over time. He keeps them there for a time-dilated 3 years, giving them plenty of time to both fear, and starve due to lack of food or water. Finally, he slam dunks them! Despite all the years they had to build up fear, it was WAY worse than they were expecting! The strong barrier and super-strong barrier are destroyed!

Enderofall: I’ve got an even better one next turn! And maybe I’ll extend my reach to hit you too, Brewsky!

Brewsky; Don’t worry guys, I’ll have this potion done in one…more…turn…

All dead players respawn!

THE BATTLEFIELD:

Location: Ultimate Blue Destroyer Robot, Slightly Destroyed Control Room

Blue forces:

Enderofall: Fighter Warrior, level 40: 2500/2500 HP, 600 MD, Titanfall Axe(+150 MD, +1 unit attack), Boost armor(+400 HP, +50 MD), (Deletion: Ready!)(Final Wave: 2/8) (attack-defense) (has Hero Crest)

Players:

ManiacMasteR: Mage, level 10: 147/147 HP, 43/165 XP, 20 MD, 15/26 Mana, Sharpness III Diamond sword(+9 MD)/Protection II Gold armor(+85 HP)(Recharge: Ready!)(heal field: Ready!)(has potion of resistance)

Ka_Doink: Fighter, level 12: 125/131 HP, 135/260 XP, 38 MD, Gold sword(+9 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP) (flaming destruction: Ready!)(Team Fighting: Ready!)(minicrits: 1/3)(has potion of resistance)(has milk gun, 3 uses left)(has neutralize page, 3 uses left)

Twinbuilder: Fighter, level 10: 123/128 HP, 58/200 XP, 34 MD, Sharpness I Wrap Blade(+11 MD)(legendary, can stun enemies)/Protection I Diamond armor(+50 HP) (flaming destruction: Ready!)(team fighting: Ready!)(has milk gun, 1 use left)

Fseftr: Fighter, level 10: 121/127 HP, 165/200 XP, 30 MD, Sharpness I Diamond sword(+7 MD)/Protection I Diamond armor(+50 HP) (flaming destruction: Ready!)(team fighting: 3/4)(has potion of strength)(has revival talisman)

Cobaltshade: Mage, level 12: 180/180 HP, 173/260 XP, 26 MD, 23/30 Mana Sharpness III Gold sword(+12 MD)/Protection III Gold armor(+95 HP)(Recharge: Ready!)(Heal Field: Ready!)(siphon, passive)(has golden apple)(has Lightning page, 3 uses left)(has milk gun, 2 uses left)(has spare gold sword)

Netpatham: Mage, level 10: 131/131 HP, 72/200 XP, 22 MD, 26/26 Mana Sharpness III Gold sword(+12 MD)/Protection II Diamond armor(+60 HP)(Recharge: 1/3)(Heal Field: 1/4)

The_Nonexistent_Tazz: Tank, level 14: 210/312 HP, 12/340 XP, 43 MD, Sharpness II Gold sword(+11 MD)/Protection III Gold armor(+95 HP) (mirror shield: Ready!)(ground slam:Ready!) (overprotective spirit, active) (has milk gun, 3 uses left)(guarding generic)

BioShock_Rules: Fighter, level 12: 125/131 HP, 141/260 XP, 37 MD, Gold sword(+9 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP) (flaming destruction: Ready!)(team fighting: Ready!) (minicrits: 0/3)(has milk gun, 3 uses left)

omglolsguy: Mage, level 9: 106/106 HP, 131/165 XP, 16 MD, 18.5/24 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP)(Recharge: Ready!)(heal field: Ready!)

The_Idea_Modpack_Man: Tank, level 9: 169/178 HP, 41/165 XP, 19 MD, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP) (mirror shield: Ready!) (ground slam: Ready!)(has milk gun, 3 uses left)

The_Serpent: Shaman, level 9: 79/84 HP, 26/165 XP, 21 MD, 22/22 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP) (Drain: Ready!)(sacrifice: Ready!)

OverlordXcano: Shaman, level 9: 99/99 HP, 75/165 XP, 21 MD, 22/22 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP)(Drain: Ready!)(sacrifice: Ready!)(has light wall page, 3 uses left)

Knight3165: Shaman, level 10: 84/89 HP, 3/165 XP, 24 MD, 20/24 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP)(Drain: Ready!)(sacrifice: Ready!)

Pricey12345: Fighter, level 10: 156/156 HP, 58/200 XP, 29 MD, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Thorny breastplate(+80 HP, legendary, damages people who attempt to attack it) (flaming destruction: 1/3)(team fighting: 1/4)(has potion of resistance III)

Insert_Generic_Username: Mage, level 9: 92/92 HP, 155/165 XP, 17 MD, 24/24 Mana Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP)(Recharge: Ready!)(Heal Field: Ready!)(being guarded by Tazz)

Red forces:

Brewsky: Alchemist, level 2: 2000/2000 HP, 80 MD, 45/45 Mana, Potion Sword(+18 MD, inflicts a random status effect every attack)/Obsidian Armor(+120 HP) (spellbook: Lighting, Special Mix) (brewing a special potion, will be done in 1 turn) (boss)

SPELLBOOK:

Mages: Freeze(5 Mana), Thunder(8 Mana), Lightning(13 Mana)

Shamans: Poison(4 Mana), Pestilence(9 Mana), Light wall(15 Mana)

Sage+Druid+Magic Knight(combo spell): Universal combo strike(75 Mana from each)

Other:

Tiny box(can't be interacted with)

Money: $2360

Hurrah, looks like we're almost done! I choose General mode, with no modifiers.

Quote from Fseftr»

I don't get XP for healing people? Well, that's the last time I be a team player. /s

I then notice Enderofall isn't being a team player either, and taunt him about having no allies to back him up. This reminds him that all his friends died in a horrible drunk driving accident two months ago, and he's had no one to play Minecraft with since then. This hurts his feelings so much that he doesn't notice me attacking him.

Actually, you were supposed to get XP, I just forgot. +14 XP!

Enderofall isn't fazed, because you just made that up! He easily deflects your attack! +8 XP!

Quote from ManiacMasteR»

... We're dead.

I attempt to perform a WOMBO COMBO on ENDEROFALL.

You fail! +10 XP!

Quote from BioShock_Rules»

"Let's tear this guy apart."

I cast Flaming Destruction and shove a cherry pie down Enderofall's throat. Said pie is sprinkled with tiny canisters containing pure mercury, as well as the surface of Mercury. Enderofall immediately gets severe indigestion, so I help him out by coating a Carolina Reaper in samples of the surface of the sun, dip it in blazing inferno hellfire sauce, then force feed it to him. His internal organs catch fire, so I attempt to douse the flames with gasoline. It doesn't work out, and he ends up with really bad heartburn. I relieve him of his pain by tearing his heart out, on the grounds that you can't have heartburn if you don't have a heart. I convert the heart into an item, dubbing it "Isaac's Heart". A baby with no skin on his head and rubber cement over his eyes comes along and takes the heart from me, them puts on a creepy wooden mask, then walks away. Enderofall is horrified by the baby, causing him to vomit up the cherry pie, which now seems to have a carving in its crust resembling the baby. Scary pie, if you will. Enderofall is annoyed by my terrible pun, so I furiously weld his clothing to him, then kick him out the window that may or may not exist.

As you move to shove the cherry pie down his throat, before you activate Flaming destruction, Enderofall moves quickly and slams you so hard you go flying across the room!

+28 XP!

Quote from The_Nonexistent_Tazz»

Now, HOLD on just a minute, Endorfall! Nyrah did not claim credentials to actually being a red player of any significance at all, or even a Red Player at all, and we know a few things that she clearly doesn't, including a pretty darned good theory as to why the war's dragging on when Red could instantly win. YOU, on the other hand, MUST have posed enough weight to at least get some office of importance during your stay at Red-and if you didn't I'd be shocked. Plus, you were definitely on the Red's side, and probably not until recently did you change, so you seem far more like you actually mean something's on. In any case, among our reasons for not immediately defecting was, A, gathering more info from red's part, and B, not dying to the tank Unit, Egglord and freaking Yorlu out there when we inevitably defected! But you! You are a different customer.

If you know ANYTHING Nyrah didn't, we might be interested in hearing, and we might even decide to defect-her words were not totally lost on us, and we were pretty suspicious that, if nothing else SOMETHING was up with this place.

...Unless she told us everything you knew as well. In which case, well, we're going to be awfully reluctant to tell you our pretty darned good theory while under fire. I mean, we did see some very compelling evidence when we met the Red Leader in person...I mean, on the server. IRL would be silly, really, he-slash-she seems far too mysterious for that. But yes, we have.

In case my diplomatic attempts failed entirely, and only if they failed entirely and I got no combat pause, I immediately take all that wicked Charismatic power in my words and convert it to a stream of pure Pulchritude, which I then fire at the Fighter Warrior.

Enderofall10000: I HAVE been on the server a long time, it's true. I was known for long periods of inactivity, and usually, I didn't go on many important missions. I had power, but I never took it seriously until now! I was always just on for fun... I never looked too carefully at what the rest of my team was doing! But, looking back, I really should have! So, I can't tell you any more than Nyrah did... But I CAN try to stop the situation from getting any worse!

Quote from omglolsguy22»

I decide to say, " I believe I will join blue everyone. But not before I kick your [EXPUNGED]. Now fight me." I then take out a baseball bat and that scythe from eariler. I beat him on the head with it 93 times, angering him that I did not land on a even number. I even a number.... His HP numbers.

Unfortunately, his HP is already an even number! +11 XP!

Quote from Knight3165»

"Enderofall10000" said "I do so enjoy taking down the fighters who try to be all high-and-mighty."

...does that mean he's committing suicide because of his choice of name? O.o

Enderofall: Well..OBVIOUSLY I didn't mean me!

Quote from BioShock_Rules»

I shoot a railroad spike into Enderofall's brain, informing him of the 75 DToDD. He decides to take them on, feeling that they can't be as bad as the name implies.

Trial nine: Trial by Slowness

Enderofall's computer is slowed down greatly by 40,000,000 useless windows and applications being automatically opened in the background every second. The task manager is incapable of closing them, and none of them have a close button. His framerate drops to -4, meaning the game is playing in reverse. Attempting to close any windows will result in high-voltage electrocution and the opening of another 40,000 windows.

Trial ten: Trial by Unknown

Enderofall is the first person to reach trial 10. Thus, no one knows what to expect. All of the lights in his house turn into unlights, so they actually make the rooms much darker. Additionally, his monitor's brightness and gamma are reduced to the minimum setting, his body is emptied of vitamins A, C, and E, worsening his eyesight substantially. Next, he is given Curse of the Unknown, making his HP bar invisible. He then gets Curse of the Blind, preventing him from knowing what item he has equipped. Finally, a grue is spawned in his house, and it's quite hungry...

Trial eleven: Trial by Alliteration

Enderofall is forced into an endless cycle of Added Alliterative Appeal, awesomely annihilating his ability to freaking focus on few furious enemies, while an Enderman evilly, enviously ends Enderofall's computer session, cruelly cutting off his crash-prone computer made of crap. Enderofall angrily, avariciously attacks an assault drone, breaking its brittle body. He then sadly becomes superstitious, stupidly subverting a supposedly sad ending and ending the cycle of AAA.

He gives up after sustaining many bullet wounds from the assault drone, which comes back to life as a vengeful ghost that makes his life hell by stealing his possessions, taunting him, deleting things on his computer, and placing snapping turtles in his bed.

Enderofall10000 doesn't even let you get close enough to start with the railroad spike, but he does take on the trials!

He starts by smashing all the windows that open, every second, until the trial is over! Then, he smashes the unlights until they turn back into lights, turns up his monitor settings, and takes out his massive multivatiman that he carries everywhere with him, and then eats it! And then he kills the grue. Then, he ends the enderman with one attack! He kills both the assault drone and the ghost assault drone, then gives up because your quest was too easy!

+29 XP!

Quote from Pricey12345»

I used a Combo Slash at Enderofall just i did in Destroy the Godmodder and i Got some Sharpening tools to Power the Diamond Sword to the Max!

Before you even get close, he hits the ground with a wave attack, making you trip! +8 XP!

Quote from ka_doink1234o0»

I activate Team Fighting, and attempt to defeat the Fighter Warrior... by showing it Jurassic Park! The Fighter Warrior enjoys the movie, but then shows a sudden fear of raptors. Suddenly, raptors burst in through the window and eat everybody, attracted to the scent of fear! The Fighter Warrior shrieks like a little girl, then tries to take on the raptors... by taking a quiz on how well he would survive in a raptor attack. The quiz gives him a zero (because nobody can ever survive a raptor attack) and the Fighter Warrior's head is bitten straight off his body. The Warrior has too much health to be felled by a mere raptor, though, and his head ravels down the raptor's gullet, meeting some friends and fighting the raptor's internal organs along the way in a feel-good movie of the decade. The Warrior's head joins a band of rag-tag heroes who have also been digested by the velociraptor, and travels upstream, meeting many strangers and solving sidequests along the way, and after destroying the esophagus, pancreas, colon, and spleen of the raptor while traveling on its hemoglobin highway (in a mini submarine) the Fighter Warrior and friends confront the velociraptor's surprisingly gigantic brain, and after a long and tiring battle with no respawns and only two vulnaries, they defeat the brain and immediately teleport back out of the now-slightly-dead raptor, which is still not dead and eat them all again. The Fighter Warrior's head has to do everything over again, and once again destroys the raptor's brain which has magically reappeared because of wizards, but then the raptor's brain activates its latent psychic powers and blows up the head! Unfortunately, the Fighter Warrior still has a hefty chunk of health, and the gibbed pieces of head miraculously regrow back into a whole Fighter Warrior. However, it seems while the Warrior was eaten by a raptor, dinosaurs have taken over the Earth, and by extension the whole server! Steve and Alex have been renamed to Steveosaurus and Alexesaurus, and everyone on the server is walking the dinosaur! The controllers in the back of the room are all dinosaurs - one is a T-rex, one is a dromiceiomimus, another is a utahraptor, and they all talk about various amusing subjects in the same position all the time! The Fighter Warrior is horrified, because since he spent so long in the belly of the velociraptor he now loathes dinosaurs, and punches out all of the controllers himself. They immediately explode into gore, and then the robot (which is now a compsognathus) falls over head-first, crushing the Fighter Warrior, and only the Fighter Warrior, for some reason! The head of the robot pops off the rest of it comically, sending the mangled gore bits and Fighter Warrior bouncing around the inside of the head and making lots of rattling noises. The head then gets squished by an apatosaurus angry that its name was changed, and the Fighter Warrior is squished into a pancake. However, his MASSIVE health allows him to survive unharmed... until the raptor venom gets to him. Nobody can ever survive a raptor attack. The Warrior then falls over dead and experiences an out-of-body experience, but actually he just accidentally pressed the G button. However, it also means that his keyboard is slightly more worn out, and the very slight wear is the last camel on the straw's back, breaking his keyboard, allowing a bunch of people to surround the Fighter Warrior and kick him in his warrior fighting face repeatedly.

The Fighter Warrior survives the raptor attack, by killing all the raptors in one hit! And saving the world from all dinosaurs! As a reward, the rest of the world gratefully offers him infinite healing items, which he politely declines because he doesn't need them! +37 XP!

Quote from The_Nonexistent_Tazz»

And everyone manages to just decide to murder him before I even get a chance. Well! Looks like we'll...Uh, maybe fighting AND talking at the same time? That's a possibility! A fight shows who one really is, can't lie!

Endorfall doesn't believe this, so I invite him to take a truth test involving fighting dudes! He accepts. After writing out a personality questionaire, which is actually accurate to his real self to the letter, the fighting bit begins. The first part is punching a guy in the face. The target is willing! He passes the first question with flying colors and doesn't feel guilty, but accidentally murders him! As this was one of the Controllers, he facepalms hard enough to kill an army! Unfortunately, he was smarter than to repeat the incident with the Head's super cannons being forced to fire upon the Regeneration Arm, so this fails to kill him. This coincidentally makes him pass the second question! Then the third question arrives, and he has to punch a blindfolded Yorlu! He gladly manages it and passes spectacularly, but Yorlu is super-tanky so he survives and riddles Endorfall full of arrows, unaware that it's Endorfall. Then question four arrives, and he has to fight down a Red Superfortress! He passes, but doesn't get very far before the superfortress and its many armaments slam into his face like a nuke. Then question five-some native Woylywos denizens! I tanked them effortlessly, but I was over 9999 leagues above them, while Endorfall isn't. He's merely equal. He passes, but takes a lot of lethal sharp claws in his face for his troubles. Then question six-the Red Tank Unit! He passes despite not even landing a hit because the Tanks littered him with that many rounds. The final question-me, but at full power! He passes, again, but he does not even get to look at me funny before I blow up his leg. Oh, and then a Velociraptor attacks him for good measure, triggering his fear and loathing of raptors that Ka_Doink's previous attack instilled upon him.

Endorfall is delighted he passed with flying colors and now fully believes that fighting reveals the truth of a man! However, this is not enough delight to begin patching up the wounds he just received. Also, passing does not mean he killed them. Or even scratched them. Just that he tried.

Enderofall: Hey, I can fight and talk at the same time!

Enderofall punches the controller so hard, he successfully sends him around the (infinite) dimensional loop of the afterlife, bringing him back to where he was before! After he punches Yorlu, he just does a spinny circle-thing with his axe, blocking ALL the arrows! He summons two more of him from alternate realities, and then the rest of the test faints from sheer fear, even the fortress which can't faint, making him pass! Obviously, you don't faint, so he just politely offers you a cookie, and since you haven't had a cookie in at LEAST 3 hours, you desperately accept and cede the last question to him! +32 XP!

Quote from Netpatham»

I pull out a lightsaber and slice through the fighter warrior's blade.

Enough randomly attacking us from Blue, and we might be persuaded to not switch. Right now we're listening.

I also Force-"confuse" the Fighter Warrior, making him walk around dazedly so he can still talk.

He has an axe, not a blade! Also, he put points into "force resistance" at one point in an RPG, so he is immune to your force! +10 XP!

ENEMY PHASE:

Enderofall10000: Hah! It's my turn now. You can keep attacking all you want, but I can keep blocking! FOREVER!

Enderofall throws his axe in a spin at Omglolsguy, Netpatham, and Pricey12345! Netpatham and Pricey die, but Tazz protects Omglolsguy and takes 250 damage in the process!

Suddenly, you see a blinding light in the control room's window! It starts to get a bit hotter than normal in the room...as, suddenly, the blocks on the top of the robot's head explode! You look up, and see Yorlu, along with someone else!

Yorlu: Fighter Warrior? Heh, I have to admit I WAS sort of expecting this!

Enderofall10000: Yorlu! I have a few things to say to you!

The_Nonexistent_Tazz: I do too, actually.

Yorlu: I'm so sorry, I just don't have the TIME to assist you! I was planning on infiltrating this room, but I see you've already got it covered, so I can go back to pounding mooks! But, the fighter warrior is a...serious...opponent, I must admit. Do you need any...help?

Netpatham: ...Maybe.

Enderofall10000: Shut up! I'm coming for you!

Enderofall leaps for Yorlu's ship! But Yorlu raises it up just a bit, and his attack falls short!

Yorlu: Now then! Brewsky, why don't you use your special brand of magic on this guy!

Brewsky: But of course!

Brewsky drops down behind you, and Yorlu flies away.

Enderofall10000: See that? That's the guy you're fighting for. We don't have people like that on the blue team!

Twinbuilder: ...I don't think it's that simple.

Brewsky: I , for one, have no problems! Now then, Enderofall, I have some special potions for YOU! Just...give me some time to set up my special brewing kit! Here's a bunch of materials!

He throws an indeterminate amount of Material at you!

Okay, so, if you want to keep fighting, you need to defend Brewsky! The fighter is going to go on an all-out assault, and it's going to take more than a guard chain to stop him(you can still try that, at the cost of your life)! so, use your turns to erect defense around Brewsky! He's given you plenty of material, so go all-out with your creativity to establish more effective barriers!

THE BATTLEFIELD:

Location: Ultimate Blue Destroyer Robot, Slightly Destroyed Control Room

Blue forces:

Enderofall: Fighter Warrior, level 40: 2500/2500 HP, 600 MD, Titanfall Axe(+150 MD, +1 unit attack), Boost armor(+400 HP, +50 MD), (Deletion: 1/2)(Final Wave: 1/8) (attack-defense) (has Hero Crest)

I forgot to put it on last turn, but his Hero Crest is droppable. The Hero Crest is the promotion item for fighters.

Players:

ManiacMasteR: Mage, level 10: 147/147 HP, 33/165 XP, 20 MD, 9/26 Mana, Sharpness III Diamond sword(+9 MD)/Protection II Gold armor(+85 HP)(Recharge:2/3)(heal field: 2/4)(has potion of resistance)

Ka_Doink: Fighter, level 12: 125/131 HP, 95/260 XP, 38 MD, Gold sword(+9 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP) (flaming destruction: 2/3)(Team Fighting: Ready!)(minicrits: 1/3)(has potion of resistance)(has milk gun, 3 uses left)(has neutralize page, 3 uses left)

Twinbuilder: Fighter, level 10: 123/128 HP, 58/200 XP, 34 MD, Sharpness I Wrap Blade(+11 MD)(legendary, can stun enemies)/Protection I Diamond armor(+50 HP) (flaming destruction: Ready!)(team fighting: Ready!)(has milk gun, 1 use left)

Fseftr: Fighter, level 10: 121/127 HP, 165/200 XP, 30 MD, Sharpness I Diamond sword(+7 MD)/Protection I Diamond armor(+50 HP) (flaming destruction: Ready!)(team fighting: 1/4)(has potion of strength)(has revival talisman)

Cobaltshade: Mage, level 12: 180/180 HP, 173/260 XP, 26 MD, 17/30 Mana Sharpness III Gold sword(+12 MD)/Protection III Gold armor(+95 HP)(Recharge: 2/3)(Heal Field: 2/4)(siphon, passive)(has golden apple)(has Lightning page, 3 uses left)(has milk gun, 2 uses left)(has spare gold sword)

Netpatham: Mage, level 10: 0/131 HP, 72/200 XP, 22 MD, 26/26 Mana Sharpness III Gold sword(+12 MD)/Protection II Diamond armor(+60 HP)(Recharge: 2/3)(Heal Field: 2/4)

The_Nonexistent_Tazz: Tank, level 13: 45/295 HP, 251/300 XP, 41 MD, Sharpness II Gold sword(+11 MD)/Protection III Gold armor(+95 HP) (mirror shield: 2/3)(ground slam:2/4) (overprotective spirit, active) (has milk gun, 3 uses left)(guarding generic)

BioShock_Rules: Fighter, level 12: 125/131 HP, 111/260 XP, 37 MD, Gold sword(+9 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP) (flaming destruction: Ready!)(team fighting: 3/4) (minicrits: 0/3)(has milk gun, 3 uses left)

omglolsguy: Mage, level 9: 106/106 HP, 131/165 XP, 16 MD, 13.5/24 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP)(Recharge: Ready!)(heal field: Ready!)

The_Idea_Modpack_Man: Tank, level 9: 169/178 HP, 41/165 XP, 19 MD, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP) (mirror shield: Ready!) (ground slam: Ready!)(has milk gun, 3 uses left)

The_Serpent: Shaman, level 9: 79/84 HP, 26/165 XP, 21 MD, 22/22 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP) (Drain: Ready!)(sacrifice: Ready!)

OverlordXcano: Shaman, level 9: 99/99 HP, 75/165 XP, 21 MD, 22/22 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP)(Drain: 2/3)(sacrifice: 2/4)(has light wall page, 3 uses left)

Knight3165: Shaman, level 9: 84/84 HP, 145/165 XP, 22 MD, 14/22 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP)(Drain: Ready!)(sacrifice: Ready!)

Pricey12345: Fighter, level 10: 0/156 HP, 58/200 XP, 29 MD, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Thorny breastplate(+80 HP, legendary, damages people who attempt to attack it) (flaming destruction: 1/3)(team fighting: 1/4)(has potion of resistance III)

Insert_Generic_Username: Mage, level 9: 92/92 HP, 155/165 XP, 17 MD, 19/24 Mana Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP)(Recharge: Ready!)(Heal Field: Ready!)(being guarded by Tazz)

Red forces:

Brewsky: Alchemist, level 2: 2000/2000 HP, 80 MD, 45/45 Mana, Potion Sword(+18 MD, inflicts a random status effect every attack)/Obsidian Armor(+120 HP) (spellbook: Lighting, Special Mix) (brewing a special potion, will be done in 2 turns) (boss)

SPELLBOOK:

Mages: Freeze(5 Mana), Thunder(8 Mana), Lightning(13 Mana)

Shamans: Poison(4 Mana), Pestilence(9 Mana), Light wall(15 Mana)

Sage+Druid+Magic Knight(combo spell): Universal combo strike(75 Mana from each)

Other:

Tiny box(can't be interacted with)

Money: $2360

I tell all the skeleton officials that they could get a treasure to help them last eternity if they continue the map the other skeletons couldn't finish! They agree...

Part 4: Jungle: They pick up the quest at the jungle of Space Invaders. Yep, straight out of the old arcade machine! The skeletons, being really old, are all pros at that game, and so they're ready to fight! But then they realize they don't have a tank that shoots lasers. Or extra lives. Or cover to hide behind. and that the Invaders shoot and move at 100x speed. They must still win anyway to proceed.

Part 5: Fortress: They must attack a fortress of wolves-the skeleton's worst nightmare! The wolves are triple the size of normal minecraft wolves, ten times as vicious, and they have noses that can smell a skeleton from 10,000 blocks away. The skeletons must fight and win, or at least neutralize, all the wolves, who happen to be invincible. And there are 100,000 of them, and they're EXTRA angry for all being confined to the fortress! And if they try to go around the fortress, Infinity-strength sunlight hits them and they catch fire.

Part 6: Volcano: They have to scale a volcano. The volcano is sentient, and loves erupting on unsuspecting(or suspecting, it doesn't really care) passer-by. It also really, really hates skeletons. And it EXTRA hates skeleton officials. And it happened to have eaten Mexican last night, and is ready for an EXTRA vicious eruption! The end of the map points to the very top point of the volcano.

Part 7: Leap of Faith: Remember, it's all a practical joke! When they get to the very tip of the rim, and see no chest, they conclude the only way forward is to jump in, which they do. After the volcano erupts one last time. I fly over to see what happened to them, and end up having to look away at the brutality. It's clear they're in no condition to return to me for the real map (it's a pity, I had a whole return trip planned!), so I decide to just pass the torch to the next group of mooks I find.

I renew my casting of GREEN ECHO: LEVEL 5: QUARTER!

No update tonight guys, IRL stuff got in the way. I'll have one tomorrow though, in all likeliness!

I tried the server, intrigued by the concept of what seemed to be an "adventure map server". At first, everything looked pretty cool. Although I have to wonder why teams aren't allowed-why not release it as a downloadable map series, if there's no multiplayer?

Once I started the quest, things seemed to be going well. The story wasn't particularly intriguing, though I was wondering where it would go. The mob arenas seemed to have been the start of a logical difficulty curve.

Then, I reached the beginning of the parkour areas. Dirt and stone, I passed easily. The library section was where things started to drag on, and was IMMENSELY hard to get through, especially since I died near the end and had to start over. Then, the netherrack section. I was spending the whole time wondering when it would end, and wondering why the map had abandoned its perfectly good other challenges for boring, uninnovative, and repetive cubes with ladder/block jumps along the walls.

Finally, right as it seemed I was about to exit the cubes into the sunlight, I encountered one of those jumps where you have to jump out from under a block at the last possible second. Except, here's the thing. The cube had a ladder on the side you had to jump out of. The extra hitbox made it impossible or nigh-impossible to jump out from under it. Using the nearby block was either JUST BARELY impossible or JUST BARELY possible. Either way, it was way too hard, and that is where I decided to quit.

For improvements, I would suggest LESS parkour. Or at least, do something INTERESTING and less frustrating with it!

Quote from ManiacMasteR»

I jump in the air and (somehow) cast IUBEOQUE! A shadow of me appears, and we both charge and attack the GUNNERS. After 3 minutes, my shadow leaves.

18 damage to both gunners! +14 XP!

Quote from omglolsguy22»

I take a hockey stick, and replace the puck with a blade. Now its a scythe...CONSPIRACY THERYE: TEH GRUM REAPURER REPPED ERF HARKECY

I throw my scythe at the remaining forces and take a nap.

It hits a fighter for 38 damage! +15 XP!

Quote from insert_generic_username»

I poke myself with Maniac's and Twin's swords, slightly injuring myself with them. I then rummage around in my multiversal inventory and pull out the Gatekeeper's Scythe, which I morph into a Sharpness 3 Wrap Sword. I then carve straight through both Fighters, and turn around and stab both of them with Arctoae, freezing them. (Using Freeze)

30 damage to both fighters! Fighters frozen! +18 XP!

Quote from The_Nonexistent_Tazz»

Net's apparently gone into an inactive period, though I don't really know, so I switch guards to Generic.

I proceed to pull out a slingshot. Being tiny, it's a borderline y-shaped twig. The Blues would laugh if they didn't already realize that everyone else here is dangerous, the odd and extremely cute floating gold statue of a Pikachu included. I pin the twig-like slingshot to where it is with my powers, then pull back the sling, and cut a hole through space with my pinky digit, making a portal to dead space. I keep pulling back, back, back, back for what seems like an eternity, somehow keeping tension. The blues quickly realize that whatever I'm going to be launching is not going to be fun for them to be on the other end of, so naturally they quickly group together and try to destroy the twig-except, they can't. They can't even get close to the twig without their entire body starting to melt. They try to go around it or hide-the sling just keeps following them, making sure that at least one of them is going to be hit. I then keep pulling, and keep pulling, and keep pulling, further and further back. The blues then recall I didn't put anything in the Sling when I started this pulling back thing, and wonder what I would be launching, if anything.

Meanwhile, I have pulled so far back that I've somehow made a complete trip around the entirety of existence and wound up back in the universe of Infinite War ! It was quite an exhilarating trip, but I've no time to tell you about it. I've finally reached my destination: The planet of Woylywos! It's infamous for a variety of reasons. I touch down and keep tension further and further while I traverse the surface. A majority of it's deadly inhabitants fail to do anything to me as I keep pulling back, heading for a rather infamous location in Woylywos-it's legendary cave of tears. It is named such because it's ultimate treasure is a tear, and it's also impossible to traverse for 99.9% of existence due to power levels, and another 99.9% is also incapable due to size incompatibility. I have neither problem, and enter, and make laughingstock out of the extremely dangerous entities within. It's laughable, really, and they could be useful for so many deathtraps, but I'm not here for them. Yet. I'm here for the prize, and eventually claim it. The prize is a tiny teardrop on a necklace, the cosmos reflected within at every angle, the entirety of existence visible through a single device, not like it wasn't to me already. It is undeniably powerful. Whoever claims it can grant any wish whatsoever-but then it splits into eight after one wish.

I shove it in my inventory for later and keep going. Still not done yet! I go to the very back of the cave, wherein lives a beast that would usually nigh-annihilate the planet should any take the tear. I knew of it in advance, so naturally the reaction I had was to...Well, eat it. Whole. In a single bite. Chomp! And it's gone. I chuckle at how absurdly stupid that was, nothing should just be eating that, not even things that eat entire dimensions of space for dinner. Just far too powerful. And I keep pulling, phasing myself and the sling's extremely far-pulled string even further, passing by the core of the planet and keeping strong, destroying, absorbing, eating, dominating or vanishing whatever entity decides to even remotely look at me funny. I eventually leave the planet entirely-a red herring-and keep pulling.

Meanwhile, the Blues are starting to get really nervous about how long of a time I'm taking to pull back the sling. They resume attempts to stop me, attacking the sling, or attempting to, but alas, everything seems useless to even get close enough to actually touch it at all. They start to contemplate if I'm going to try IRL shenanigans. Forgetting about the GM and the fact I am not THAT cruel (I try to leave IRL selves out of this), they wonder if they should just leave their computers, back away slowly, and detonate some TNT in a ritual to stop me. Of course, nothing could stop me at this point. Nothing.

Back to me, I just keep pulling, passing by several devastation worlds. They are called such because they are basically giant weapons arrays, the largest spaceships in existence by class-the largest can be as large as 2.1% of the known Multiverse, which is utterly immense. Well, the largest known, anyways, and size doesn't equal superiority, as I consistently prove. I keep pulling, eating whatever ammo they think to fire at me like candy. Literally.

Eventually, I finally reach my real destination after all of that sling-pulling: Right back where I started, but coming in from the other side! Literally, I pull behind the blues, and pull the sling, stretched across the entirety of existence, right pass the actual sling, and pull it back just a little bit farther, then pin it with my powers as well. Immediately, Guningness World Record people swarm to the Ultimate Blue Destroyer and to me, declaring my Slign the longest thing in existence, topping existence itself, then giving me utterly massive sums of money. I take it all...Then I let loose the sling.

The Blues, thinking they only have to contend with the most tense object in existence suddenly loosening and coming straight after them, almost breathe a sigh of relief-until they realize that the entierty of existence itself, which the Sling had conveniently wrapped around, was the actual ammunition. They duck-the entirety of Existence flies out of sight, leaving the Two Blues, the Sling, and me, as the Sling finally comes to a rest, returning to it's original proportions. The blues sigh, having taken no damage whatsoever except whatever they took in trying to destroy the Sling earlier.

They then realize that there is nothing except me and them, in a completely blank room. There's not even a white or black color-just [redacted] for an nigh-infinite expanse. I approach-

[redacted for public safety]

[redacted to prevent man from knowing what he should not]

[redacted becau-]and then-[that should not have been seen]

[Data exp] And they keep-[Data expun]No! Let me describe, stupid-Oh, wait. It's over.

The two blues quit the instant they could hit escape and are probably not coming back to this server for a while. They decided that I was a little too scary for them there. If they were their Minecraft avatars they'd have it worse. Namely, they'd be dead after the kind of experience only I can deliver. Bye, Blue fighters!

I immediately retrieve existence from wherever it went, and put it back where it was, and promptly continue on like nothing ever happened whatsoever. If one or both of them is dead, target one gunner or both, just make it two targets apiece.

Guarding switched!

MAX DAMAGE! Both fighters EXTREMELY DEAD! +49 XP!

Quote from Pricey12345»

I Crack open a Tiny Box

The tiny box can't be opened or interacted with! Since people keep making that mistake, I'm gonna add a tag to it...

Quote from ka_doink1234o0»

I set a fighter on fire with a trombone.

You hit a gunner for 45 damage! +13 XP!

Quote from BioShock_Rules»

I take one of the gunners and use him to pave a road in the robot. Said road is quickly littered on, torn up by monster trucks with spiked wheels (which leave some spikes behind, conveniently upright), and quickly left in ruins. Angrily, I take the gunner and use his face to sweep the road up, cleaning it of bent soda cans, upright spikes, bottles of sulfuric acid, canisters of nuclear waste, and various runes. However, every single rune is an Ehwaz rune. I use them all, creating multiple holes to the center of the earth. I use the gunner's ribcage to undo the damage caused to the road by the monster trucks, then use his bone marrow to reinforce the asphalt. The monster trucks come back, so I use the gunner as a barricade, which stops their advance and keeps my pretty road safe, though at the cost of the gunner being reduced to multiple pieces of himself. I throw them all down the holes the Ehwaz runes created, where they combine into a gunner. At the core of the earth.

Gunner killed! +20 XP! +50$ bonus!

Quote from Fseftr»

I heal whoever needs it by sending them to the hospital. They are healed, however, they end up finding out they have cancer! They then contemplate entering a life of crime a la Breaking Bad, but realize that live in a country with socialised healthcare! After a year, they are cancer free and healthier than ever. I then stuff them into a time machine and and send them back in time a year, but it turns out my time machines gave them cancer and injured them! So I send them to the hospital, and they are healed, but end up finding out they have cancer! They contemplate entering a life of crime a la Breaking Bad, but realize they live in a country with socialised healthcare! After a year, they are cancer free and healthier than ever. I then stuff them into a time machine and send them back in time a year, but it turns out my new time machine doesn't give people cancer or injure them! Not sure why I had to point that out...

Pricey, the most injured player, healed fully!

Quote from CobaltShade»

I cast lightning on a fighter.

You cast it on the last gunner, killing him! +25 XP! +50$ bonus!

You've done it, they're all dead! Now, you just have to open the door slowly...

You all rush at the door and SMASH it down, making a dramatic entrance! Some of you even do epic one-liners!

But, as you survey the room, you see a few weak blue units controlling the robot, and, in the center of the room...

Enderofall10000: Hey.

You don't immediately recognize him. But, when you look at the tag below his name, you see that it's the FIGHTER WARRIOR. And his nametag is clearly blue... No wonder he didn't show up out on the battlefield!

Enderofall10000: You thought I was on your side, didn't you? Well, I've been poking around into the info on red's past, and I decided that they weren't the team I wanted to fight for anymore. I told Nyrah to talk to you, and if she couldn't convince you, then I doubt I'll be able to. So, we should just get to the part where I STOMP you. I do so enjoy taking down the fighters who try to be all high-and-mighty. You guys aren't even promoted yet, how did you do the things you did?

Ka_Doink: Raw SKILL!

Enderofall10000: ...I doubt that. But, I guess you'll just have to show me! The fight begins...NOW! And don't try to attack those controllers back there-I'll stop you!

Time to begin the final fight of this robot

THE BATTLEFIELD:

Location: Ultimate Blue Destroyer Robot, Control Room

Blue forces:

Enderofall: Fighter Warrior, level 40: 2500/2500 HP, 600 MD, Titanfall Axe(+150 MD, +1 unit attack), Boost armor(+400 HP, +50 MD), (Deletion: 0/2)(Final Wave: 0/8) (attack-defense)

TIP: +1 unit attack means the fighter warrior can hit 4 players at any given time instead of 3, "Deletion" multiplies the Fighter Warrior's MD by 10x, but only lets them hit one player, and Final Wave multiplies his MD by 2, but lets him hit any number of targets. "Attack-defense" allows him to use his attacking powers to deflect your attacks!

Players:

ManiacMasteR: Mage, level 10: 147/147 HP, 23/165 XP, 20 MD, 9/26 Mana, Sharpness III Diamond sword(+9 MD)/Protection II Gold armor(+85 HP)(Recharge:2/3)(heal field: 2/4)(has potion of resistance)

Ka_Doink: Fighter, level 12: 125/131 HP, 58/260 XP, 38 MD, Gold sword(+9 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP) (flaming destruction: 2/3)(Team Fighting: Ready!)(minicrits: 1/3)(has potion of resistance)(has milk gun, 3 uses left)(has neutralize page, 3 uses left)

Twinbuilder: Fighter, level 10: 123/128 HP, 58/200 XP, 34 MD, Sharpness I Wrap Blade(+11 MD)(legendary, can stun enemies)/Protection I Diamond armor(+50 HP) (flaming destruction: Ready!)(team fighting: Ready!)(has milk gun, 1 use left)

Fseftr: Fighter, level 10: 121/127 HP, 143/200 XP, 30 MD, Sharpness I Diamond sword(+7 MD)/Protection I Diamond armor(+50 HP) (flaming destruction: Ready!)(team fighting: 1/4)(has potion of strength)(has revival talisman)

Cobaltshade: Mage, level 12: 180/180 HP, 173/260 XP, 26 MD, 17/30 Mana Sharpness III Gold sword(+12 MD)/Protection III Gold armor(+95 HP)(Recharge: 2/3)(Heal Field: 2/4)(siphon, passive)(has golden apple)(has Lightning page, 3 uses left)(has milk gun, 2 uses left)(has spare gold sword)

Netpatham: Mage, level 10: 131/131 HP, 62/200 XP, 22 MD, 26/26 Mana Sharpness III Gold sword(+12 MD)/Protection II Diamond armor(+60 HP)(Recharge: 2/3)(Heal Field: 2/4)(being guarded by Tazz)

The_Nonexistent_Tazz: Tank, level 13: 295/295 HP, 219/300 XP, 41 MD, Sharpness II Gold sword(+11 MD)/Protection III Gold armor(+95 HP) (mirror shield: 2/3)(ground slam:2/4) (overprotective spirit, active) (has milk gun, 3 uses left)(guarding Netpatham)

BioShock_Rules: Fighter, level 12: 125/131 HP, 54/260 XP, 37 MD, Gold sword(+9 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP) (flaming destruction: Ready!)(team fighting: 3/4) (minicrits: 0/3)(has milk gun, 3 uses left)

omglolsguy: Mage, level 9: 106/106 HP, 120/165 XP, 16 MD, 13.5/24 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP)(Recharge: Ready!)(heal field: Ready!)

The_Idea_Modpack_Man: Tank, level 9: 169/178 HP, 41/165 XP, 19 MD, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP) (mirror shield: Ready!) (ground slam: Ready!)(has milk gun, 3 uses left)

The_Serpent: Shaman, level 9: 79/84 HP, 26/165 XP, 21 MD, 22/22 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP) (Drain: Ready!)(sacrifice: Ready!)

OverlordXcano: Shaman, level 9: 99/99 HP, 75/165 XP, 21 MD, 22/22 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP)(Drain: 2/3)(sacrifice: 2/4)(has light wall page, 3 uses left)

Knight3165: Shaman, level 9: 84/84 HP, 145/165 XP, 22 MD, 14/22 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP)(Drain: Ready!)(sacrifice: Ready!)

Pricey12345: Fighter, level 10:156/156 HP, 50/200 XP, 29 MD, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Thorny breastplate(+80 HP, legendary, damages people who attempt to attack it) (flaming destruction: 1/3)(team fighting: 1/4)(has potion of resistance III)

Insert_Generic_Username: Mage, level 9: 92/92 HP, 155/165 XP, 17 MD, 19/24 Mana Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP)(Recharge: Ready!)(Heal Field: Ready!)

SPELLBOOK:

Mages: Freeze(5 Mana), Thunder(8 Mana), Lightning(13 Mana)

Shamans: Poison(4 Mana), Pestilence(9 Mana), Light wall(15 Mana)

Sage+Druid+Magic Knight(combo spell): Universal combo strike(75 Mana from each)

Other:

Tiny box(can't be interacted with)

Money: $2360

I send as many skeletons in the arena as I can(kill with this attack) on...the PRACTICAL JOKE OF THE CENTURY:

Part 1: Adventure Begin: I tell all the skeletons I can about the existence of an awesome and coll APRIL FOOLS TREASURE! In order to get it, they must follow the directions of my map! But, in order to get the map fro me, they all have to hit each other for my amusement! I deem myself fully amused after 5 hours of that, and give it to them.

Part 2: River: They must cross the river of piranhas! This means using an incredibly small, thin rope that breaks if more than three skeletons try to cross at a time! If they fall off, they must swim across the river, and they can't get back on the rope again. The current is going towards them at 1,000 mph, and the piranhas are massive and are MORE than willing to attack even if the skeletons don't panic or bleed-oh, and since the skeletons know this, they panic anyway, which makes the piranhas MORE eager.

Part 3: Sky: They must climb a ladder to get on a cloud next. The ladder is really long, and it's constantly being bombarded by ghasts. If even one ghast hits it, they have to go back across the river so I can provide them with more ladder. The ladder is surrounded by spikes, conveniently there to cushion their fall! Oh, and the ladder itself is 10,000,000 feet tall. One makes it to the top and triumphantly steps onto the cloud, but since they aren't solid, he falls down again! They have to start all over, and somehow stand on the non-solid cloud for 5 seconds!

They give up, and I tell them I'll let the next group of enemies continue the quest...

I control our zombie to help smash down a door!

Yes, what Twin said. We could really use some input on who wants to be GM, and how many people want the position.

I use GREEN ECHO: LEVEL 10 on some skeletons!

Quote from Knight3165»

I press a button on the floor, and 30 seconds later a pizza delivery guy hands me a pepperoni pizza, which i find confusing and odd, until i find that on the side of the pepperoni facing downwards there are words. I rearrange these words 1,402 times beforei get the correct combination, and i say the sentence out loud "Doritus, commus, magnesium sulfate dioxide!" causing a Dorito to come flying at me. I eat this dorito, and while it is in my throat, it collapses into a portal to the stomachs of the blue shamans and gunners, so i start drinking bleach and eating "original" flavor pencil lead.

(I'm casting poison on them)

Poison cast! 13 damage to the specified group members! Enemies poisoned! +21 XP!

Quote from ManiacMasteR»

I run to a SHAMAN and do strategic slices to chop off his/her pants. I then kick him/her in the crotch.

26 damage to a shaman! +8 XP!

Quote from ka_doink1234o0»

I point behind the creator and yell, "Look over there!" Then he feels something rummaging in his pants. The creator immediately assumes that I have pilfered his revival talisman, and swings a punch in my face in fury, but I have actually grabbed the non-me-ness off of one of the fighters, turning him into a non-non-me, which the creator thinks is me and punches! As the fighter recoils from the creator's surprisingly strong punch, I loot his diamond sword right out of his hands, somehow without him noticing. However, the diamond sword has an enchantment of KILL THE PERSON STEALING IT! But I have a guard dog that reflects enchantments of killing the person stealing it, but the fighter has an enchantment on his sword that turns being killed by enchantments that kill stealing people back into health for him, which is exactly enough health to restore him back to the health he had before. So really I just stole his sword and 6 MD.

Later, the creator looks back in his pants to see what was rummaging in there before, and finds that I had actually snuck a hungry mouse with numbing syrup on its teeth in his pocket. He finds a hole in his pocket, and another hole in his underwear, and a full mouse, and a bunch of holes in his creator level 16. His girlfriend won't be too happy about this.

Uhh...140 damage to the creator! +24 XP!

Quote from omglolsguy22»

I cast lightning on some freaks! The freaks are then pissed that I zapped them INSTEAD of the blue mooks! They then eat the mooks.

Lightning cast! 80 damage to a fighter! +21 XP!

Quote from Pricey12345»

I used FLAMING DESTRUCTION on one of the Blue Guys

Flaming destruction used! 78 damage to a blue guy! +22 XP!

LEVEL UP! +5 HP! +3 MD!

Quote from BioShock_Rules»

I take the creator with the revival talisman and tell him about the 75 Deadly Trials of Deadly Death and their great rewards. He's intrigued and begins attempting them.

Trial five: Trial by Agony

The creator has 72 flaming needles placed into his arms, 44 poisoned needles in his legs, 83 acidic needles in his chest and abdomen, and two poisonous needles burning with acidic fire placed into his eyes. Afterwards, his fingers are broken with a sledgehammer, and eyes are placed on each of his now-broken fingers. He is then told to pick up cactus.

Trial six: Trial by Stupidity

The creator must win an argument with 40 Tumblr social justice warriors, 400 members of the Call of Duty community and their inability to be pleased, and 4,000 general idiots you'll see on the Internet in the YouTube comments. He must convince the SJWs that everything is not offensive, which he barely does with his brain cells intact due to their status as permanently triggered. He has to convince the CoD community members that Advanced Warfare is at the very least somewhat good. The creator refuses because he doesn't like the series as a whole. Angered, I lobotomize him and change his opinions, so he struggles and fails to reason with the community. He'll fail to pass the trial if he doesn't convince the dime-a-dozen idiots that they're just stupid, and that they could be more intelligent. He succeeds, but is infected by the stupidity.

Trial seven: Trial by Tryhards

The creator is forced into a series of five Advanced Warfare lobbies, each containing an increasing number of people using either the ASM1 Speakeasy, ASM1 Magnitude, ASM1 Rigor, or ASM1 Strider. His weapon progressively gets worse, starting out with the semi-decent EPM3, and hitting rock bottom with the incredibad MK-14 Eclipse. As his weapons get worse, his maximum HP gets reduced, until he eventually has only 12 HP. He has to win five matches in a row like this.

Trial eight: Trial by Sawblades

The creator is forced into an NESque platformer loaded with Nintendo Hard elements, such as tiny platforms, moving platforms, sawblades everywhere, sawblades made of smaller sawblades, and instant death pitfalls. Every boss fight is long and tedious, as well as nigh unwinnable. The boss' attacks are always fast-hitting and brutal, while the creator's own attacks are slow and sluggish, but barely chip off 1% of the boss' health bar. Every boss defeated unlocks another world consisting of 40 nearly impossible levels, each one inching closer to total impossibility than the last. The creator feels immense physical pain every time he dies.

The creator gives up after the 734th death on trial eight, but gets drawn and quartered for rage quitting.

Creator VERY MUCH killed! +51 XP!

LEVEL UP! +6 HP! +3 MD!

NEW SKILL LEARNED: Minicrits!

Quote from Fseftr»

I use team fighting. I'm not really sure what it does, so hopefully I didn't use it wrong.

Team fighting used! What it does is, if you use it at the same time/turn as another fighter, their attacks are both combined and given a 4x damage multiplier. But if not, then the attack just gets a lonely 2x multiplier.

Quote from Pricey12345»

I activate DUAL TEAM FIGHTING after i Joined Fseftr's Team Fighting Skill with my Team Fighting Skill at Every Blue Guys

You can't hit ALL of them, but you do hit the three shamans! Your combined attacks x4 deal 79 damage to them all, killing the strongest one! +43 XP to you and Fseftr!

Quote from CobaltShade»

Hit the Shamans! They have Neutralize!

CobaltShade + Team Questgiver: ULTIMATE QUESTGIVER

My ultimate questgiving team and I send a blue shaman on a quest!
PART TWO HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE: PEACEKEEPING
He must first break up an argument between 20,000 idiotic PewDiePie fanboys and 20,000 idiotic PewDiePie haters armed wtih only a banhammer. Except it's a toy banhammer... with no power whatsoever. He attempts to separate the fanboys and the haters, but they happen to all be ten-year-old boys. Angered, he shouts "NOBODY GIVES A CRAP ABOUT PEWDIEPIE!" This causes both the fanboys and the haters to beat him up.

PART TWO HUNDRED TWENTY SIX: ESCAPE THE ROOM

He is then thrown into a room! The room is made of tungsten heated to 3000 degrees Celsius and there is absolutely nothing in the room. He is to escape this room through a tungsten door on one side of the room. First, he must find the key by smashing the floor in random places with his own body until it breaks to reveal the key. But there are 99 fake keys and only one working key. He then finds that the working key is made of frozen gallium that melts on touching the keyhole. Enraged, he smashes everything in the room and breaks out with his bare hands, sustaining major burns in the process.

PART TWO HUNDRED TWENTY SEVEN: TRIAL BY REPETITION

He must then complete: All of Tazz's doom courses ever (including the ones on DTG), all of my quests including incomplete ones, all of Bioshock's 75 Deadly Trials of Deadly Death plus any expansion packs or supplements and any other quest-like challenges that may pop up in this game in the future. Once he is done, he realizes that he is in an infinite loop due to various parts, some of which are the seventh leg of Tazz's second doom course, the final trial of the Trials of Changes, and part 215 of the Quests. He immediately gives up and is shot down.

PART TWO HUNDRED TWENTY EIGHT: FANFICTION

He must then read the epitomes of terrible spelling, Super Smash Bros Mishonh From God and its sequel Subpar Smush Broas Mishan Forum God The REEL Sekwel! LAUREN U R DUM. He is to remain silent and not move besides turning the pages of the book. This is impossible and he vomits, forfeiting the challenge. I then raise a hammer over the shaman and smash him over the head 20,000 times with a hammer made of neutron-degenerate matter.

PART TWO HUNDRED TWENTY NINE: HISTORIAN
He must then remember every Quest, Doom Course and Deadly Trial of Deadly Death and how the person to do the quest/course/trial got through them. This is impossible as he is literally required to predict the future. He optimistically predicts no deaths for the rest of the quest. I punch him 20,000,000 times while saying "WROOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!"

PART TWO HUNDRED THIRTY: THE GUY
He must then play I Wanna Be The Guy 20,000,000 times without dying once on maximum difficulty blindfolded while at the same time playing NetHack with as many challenge paths as humanly possible forced upon him and Syobon Action (Cat Mario modified to have terrible controls. With every death in any game resulting in a hammer to the head.

You totally kill both shamans! +59 XP!

Blue fighter: Come on! Our only hope is to survive and use team fighting!

ENEMY PHASE:

Both blue fighters heal the injured one of themselves, restoring him! Great phrasing!

THE BATTLEFIELD:

Location: Ultimate Blue Destroyer Robot, Arm Exit

Blue forces:

Blue gunner, level 14: 137/150(distracted)(poisoned, -10 HP per turn for 2 more turns)

Blue gunner, level 14: 137/150(distracted)(poisoned, -10 HP per turn for 2 more turns)

Blue fighter, level 13: 110/110 HP, 40 MD, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP)(team fighting: Ready!)

Blue fighter, level 13: 110/110 HP, 40 MD, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP)(team fighting: Ready!)

Players:

ManiacMasteR: Mage, level 10: 147/147 HP, 9/165 XP, 20 MD, 9/26 Mana, Sharpness III Diamond sword(+9 MD)/Protection II Gold armor(+85 HP)(Recharge:2/3)(heal field: 2/4)(has potion of resistance)

Ka_Doink: Fighter, level 12: 125/131 HP, 45/260 XP, 38 MD, Gold sword(+9 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP) (flaming destruction: 2/3)(Team Fighting: Ready!)(minicrits: 1/3)(has potion of resistance)(has milk gun, 3 uses left)(has neutralize page, 3 uses left)

Twinbuilder: Fighter, level 10: 123/128 HP, 58/200 XP, 34 MD, Sharpness I Wrap Blade(+11 MD)(legendary, can stun enemies)/Protection I Diamond armor(+50 HP) (flaming destruction: Ready!)(team fighting: Ready!)(has milk gun, 1 use left)

Fseftr: Fighter, level 10: 121/127 HP, 143/200 XP, 30 MD, Sharpness I Diamond sword(+7 MD)/Protection I Diamond armor(+50 HP) (flaming destruction: Ready!)(team fighting: 1/4)(has potion of strength)(has revival talisman)

Cobaltshade: Mage, level 12: 180/180 HP, 148/260 XP, 26 MD, 30/30 Mana Sharpness III Gold sword(+12 MD)/Protection III Gold armor(+95 HP)(Recharge: 2/3)(Heal Field: 2/4)(siphon, passive)(has golden apple)(has Lightning page, 3 uses left)(has milk gun, 2 uses left)(has spare gold sword)

Netpatham: Mage, level 10: 131/131 HP, 62/200 XP, 22 MD, 26/26 Mana Sharpness III Gold sword(+12 MD)/Protection II Diamond armor(+60 HP)(Recharge: 2/3)(Heal Field: 2/4)(being guarded by Tazz)

The_Nonexistent_Tazz: Tank, level 13: 295/295 HP, 170/300 XP, 41 MD, Sharpness II Gold sword(+11 MD)/Protection III Gold armor(+95 HP) (mirror shield: 2/3)(ground slam:2/4) (overprotective spirit, active) (has milk gun, 3 uses left)(guarding Netpatham)

BioShock_Rules: Fighter, level 12: 125/131 HP, 34/260 XP, 37 MD, Gold sword(+9 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP) (flaming destruction: Ready!)(team fighting: 3/4) (minicrits: 0/3)(has milk gun, 3 uses left)

omglolsguy: Mage, level 9: 106/106 HP, 105/165 XP, 16 MD, 13.5/24 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP)(Recharge: Ready!)(heal field: Ready!)

The_Idea_Modpack_Man: Tank, level 9: 169/178 HP, 41/165 XP, 19 MD, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP) (mirror shield: Ready!) (ground slam: Ready!)(has milk gun, 3 uses left)

The_Serpent: Shaman, level 9: 79/84 HP, 26/165 XP, 21 MD, 22/22 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP) (Drain: Ready!)(sacrifice: Ready!)

OverlordXcano: Shaman, level 9: 99/99 HP, 75/165 XP, 21 MD, 22/22 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP)(Drain: 2/3)(sacrifice: 2/4)(has light wall page, 3 uses left)

Knight3165: Shaman, level 9: 84/84 HP, 145/165 XP, 22 MD, 14/22 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP)(Drain: Ready!)(sacrifice: Ready!)

Pricey12345: Fighter, level 10: 96/156 HP, 50/200 XP, 29 MD, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Thorny breastplate(+80 HP, legendary, damages people who attempt to attack it) (flaming destruction: 1/3)(team fighting: 1/4)(has potion of resistance III)

Insert_Generic_Username: Mage, level 9: 92/92 HP, 137/165 XP, 17 MD, 24/24 Mana Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP)(Recharge: Ready!)(Heal Field: Ready!)

SPELLBOOK:

Mages: Freeze(5 Mana), Thunder(8 Mana), Lightning(13 Mana)

Shamans: Poison(4 Mana), Pestilence(9 Mana), Light wall(15 Mana)

Sage+Druid+Magic Knight(combo spell): Universal combo strike(75 Mana from each)

Other:

Tiny box

Money: $2260

I re-guard my own Scolipede, and rollout into a spider hopefully destroying it!

Quote from CobaltShade»

CobaltShade: SYNTHETIC VOCALS ⤨ QUESTGIVER: THE QUEST-GIVING COURSE

I take a bunch of computer voices and force them to take a questgiving course with me as the instructor! I then give them questgiving training with one unlucky blue fighter with 140 max HP as the training dummy!

MICROSOFT SAM: PART TWO HUNDRED EIGHTEEN: THE HIGHWAY BEER CHALLENGE

Sam sends the Fighter on a quest to find a gallon of Highway Beer and chug it! Unfortunately, Highway Beer is stored only in the fluoroantimonic acid production plant! When he gets there, he finds that a massive wave of fluoroantimonic acid is moving towards him at 50,000 m/s! He must chug all the fluoroantimonic acid, because the fluoroantimonic acid IS Highway Beer!

DR. SBAITSO: PART TWO HUNDRED NINETEEN: TORTURE CHAMBER

Dr. Sbaitso sends the fighter to his office, where [DATA EXPUNGED]. The results are horrible - the fighter is now suffering from brain damage, his eyes are missing, his ears have been clawed off, his skin is burnt off, his limbs are amputated and his face is disfigured. The fighter immediately screams so loud he explodes.

RADAR OVERSEER SCOTTY: PART TWO HUNDRED TWENTY: BALONEY'S REVENGE

Scotty challenges the fighter to eat a special baloney sandwich he prepared. Unfortunately, the baloney sandwich is laced with SCP-409, SCP-009, EAS Tones, the Really Sucky Virus, the Moving Victoria Virus, the Really Nooby Virus and the Gangnam Bieber Virus. This causes his body to become infected by SCP-409 and 009 while he listens to EAS Tones and has a Roflcopter Seizure.

IVONA BRIAN: PART TWO HUNDRED TWENTY ONE: EARTHLINGS

Brian takes the fighter to a planet under attack by aliens. The fighter must dodge 30,000,000,000,000 nukes falling on it simultaneously, followed by 30,000,000,000,000 lasers aimed all at it from 30,000,000,000,000 different angles. Finally, the aliens abduct him and perform [DATA EXPUNGED], which was basically what Dr. Sbaitso did but worse.

OLIVER V3: PART TWO HUNDRED TWENTY TWO: LAVENDER TOWN SYNDROME Oliver forces the fighter to listen to him singing Lavender Town Syndrome, with the creepy tone playing in the background. Unfortunately for the fighter, the deadly tone has been replaced with a variant of SCP-1012 that only affects the Fighter. The fighter immediately decays into fundamental particles.

THE MOONBASE ALPHA TTS VOICE: PART TWO HUNDRED TWENTY THREE: AEIOU

The Moonbase Alpha TTS voice forces the fighter to listen to "aeiou" repeated nonstop. It turns out that "aeiou" repeated 200 times causes this particular fighter to explode, despite the fact that the modified Lavender Town tone already made him decay into fundamental particles. The fighter reforms himself into a pile of biological sludge, then explodes back into fundamental particles.

The computer voices all succeed at attacking the blue fighter and continue with the next part of their training...

The attack breaks through the barricade! Blue fighter killed! +42 XP!

Quote from insert_generic_username»

I take out a typewriter, and type out everything ever mentioned in #DTG2, as well as the DTG MST, and reveal that the typewriter was actually the SMITH CORONA BLOTSPITTER, and shoot it at the blue fighter.

36 damage to a blue fighter! +12 XP!

Quote from The_Nonexistent_Tazz»

I remove the Pike from my head and poorly pretend that even remotely hurt, then call BS because I should have face-tanked the Flaming Destruction in place of Net, the guy I was guarding.

Okay, assume the attack on you happened BEFORE the attack on Net. In a weird, retroactive way.

Quote from ka_doink1234o0»

I activate Flaming Destruction, and then slam Nyrah and friends into a barrel, then slam the barrel into one of those barrels from Donkey Kong, then slam that barrel into a barrel cannon from Donkey Kong, then that barrel into an explosive red barrel from every video game with red barrels in it ever made, then I cram that barrel into a BARREL OF FIRE! Then I slam that barrel into a fireproof barrel seconds before it explodes, and then kick it over the edge of Niagara Falls! The barrels all crash into Niagara's rocky floor, but don't break, until the fireproof barrel makes a "wump" noise and smoke comes out of it, then the top blows off as the barrel cannon launches the barrels out over the Falls. They fly back up, and the barrel from Donkey Kong disintegrates from the high speeds, and the barrel inside that one turns into a cloud of splinters, which give the entire blue team nasty infections. Then they realize they're still miles over Niagara Falls, and crash through all twenty floors of a tourist building, into the basement, through a cave, into a deep chasm, straight to Hell, through that into Hella Rad (guitar riff!), and into the void, where they roll over the depth limit and go right back above where they fell! Nyrah, with his overprotective spirit, guards the whole team, but it does nothing, since he gets skewered on a railroad spike conveniently being carried point upwards by two burly guys fixing the hole the blues made. However, it turns out the spike was made of bouncy rubber! This is despite the spike stabbing through Nyrah, the gunner, the mage, the creator, all four fighters, and even the barricade (Why did they take the barricade with them?) like a giant shish kabob. They get bounced into SPAAAAACE, and fly past all the planets in the solar system and smash right into a magical school bus! The impact punctures the magical school bus's magical hull, which sucks all the kids inside into the depths of space,, who all freeze into blocks of ice instantly! The blues smash through the entire bus and out of the front window, lacerating themselves on the glass, and then crash into the kidsicles, fracturing them into ice splinters, which get all in Nyrah and friends' business! Then they pass by a tiny planet, whose gravity is exactly enough to bend them back towards Earth, and teach them all about Kerbal Space Program in the process. However, the little snot-nosed kid on it fires a slingshot at them, but the slingshot actually shoots CRUISE MISSILES. By which I mean CRUISE SHIPS, DEPLOYED FROM MISSILES. The cruise ships also fire missiles, that separate into mini-missiles. Needless to say, the blue team is thoroughly rekt. They fall back to Earth, and burn to specks in the atmosphere, but they get so small that they turn atom-sized, then subatomic-sized, then strong-sized, and then they loop back into being the largest objects in the universe, but they burn into specks so tiny they turn right back to where they started, but with unimaginable burns! Then they hit the roof of an apartment building, and a bunch of old people swarm out of it and yell stereotypical old people things at the blue team. Nyrah tries to apologize, but the elderly seniors attack with rocks and canes! The blue team runs away, but are suddenly assaulted by a brontosaurus! The blues, however, are well-versed in dinosaur technical names, and say that it's actually an apatosaurus. The apatosaurus doesn't care, and devours all of them whole! They then say that apatosauruses aren't carnivores, but herbivores. The apatosaurus doesn't care either, and a couple of hours later the blues emerge, now thick with processed apatosaurus food. Suddenly, a Monty Python convention appears! A big crowd of fans just quoting Monty Python over and over again without saying a single conversation floods the area, squishing the members of the blue team in its mighty throng. Nyrah cries out, "Hey! Monty Python was all about unexpected humor and funny twists and surrealism! You're completely contradicting their ideals by just quoting Monty Python!" The convention goers become confused, then angry, and start beating each other up for defying Monty Python, the great god of humor, and beating themselves up, for defying Monty Python, the god of humor. The blues sneak out of the wild ruckus, but not before getting a few punches to the face and some flying kicks. Wanting to heal themselves, the blues travel to a marketplace selling healing items. The fighters group off to buy some revival talismans, but when they ask the merchant for revival items and pay him vast amounts of money and even their own life essence, find only glowy bird feathers, which they toss in the trash, wasting the health they sacrificed. The gunner purchases some medkits and uses them on himself, but they are expired medkits that make him really, really sick. The creator waves down a taxi to take him to the local trauma inn, but he's using the wrong semaphore flags and accidentally waves down the Grand Fleet of Generally Highly Hostile Generic Bad Guys! He is swarmed by goddamn bats, bitten by demonic spiders, and crushed to his last hit point by an invincible minor minion with a touch of death. The mage goes to buy some food in a nearby grocery store, and walks out with some cereal boxes. He immediately pours all of them out into a bowl and gulps it down greedily, but neglects to read the label on the cereal, which is actually Scrapple Jacks. The mage remarks, "Hey, these don't taste like scrapple!" and then promptly falls over unconscious from a horrible case of food poisoning. Nyrah tries to locate some health potions, but finds nothing, so he decides to brew some himself. Unfortunately, he accidentally drops a fermented spider eye in the mixture right before brewing a batch of healing potions and distributing them out to his teammates to drink, and selfishly keeping a few for himself to swig all at once. The harming potions are the final straw for the blue team, and they all die instantly. The barricade doesn't buy anything, but gets damaged anyway for some reason. I don't know, maybe three little pigs at the market rolled over it on the way home in their Jeep. Yeah, okay.

MAX DAMAGE! 350 damage to Nyrah, blue fighter and blue mage killed! +89 XP!

Quote from Pricey12345»

I am So Angry after the 5 Hero Deaths (ManiacMasteR Netpatham The_Nonexistent_Tazz BioShock_Rules and OverlordXcano) and i used the Flaming Destruction at Nyrah to Ruin her life

You don't use it since it's unnecessary, and instead just finish off Nyrah! Her XP goes out to the whole team! +70 XP to all level 10 units!

ManiacMasteR levels up! +6 HP! +1 MD! +2 Mana cap! +.5 mana regen!

Ka_Doink levels up! +6 HP! +3 MD!

NEW SKILL LEARNED! Minicrits: Every third attack you launch, you get an extra power boost, making said attack deal double damage!

Twinbuilder levels up! +5 HP! +2 MD!

Cobaltshade levels up! +6 HP! +2 MD! +2 Mana cap!

NEW SKILL LEARNED! Siphon: Whenever you attack an enemy, a portion of the HP you take from them heals you.

Netpatham levels up! +5 HP! +1 MD! +2 Mana cap!

TheIdeaModpackMan levels up! +9 HP! +1 MD!

The_Serpent levels up! +5 HP! +1 MD! +2 Mana cap!

OverlordXCano levels up! +5 HP! +1 MD! +2 Mana cap!

Nyrah: Ugh...I hope...my leader stops you...

Quote from Fseftr»

I take a Blue fighter and slice at them boringly.

33 damage to a blue fighter! +10 XP!

Quote from BioShock_Rules»

I curl up into a ball as the Lost floats upward from my corpse.

Quote from Pricey12345»

I Threw a Hate Bomb at Nyrah

She's dead, so you hit a gunner for 30 damage! +10 XP!

Quote from Fseftr»

I do a boring slice x2 combo.

30 damage to the same fighter! +10 XP!

Quote from omglolsguy22»

I start making a epic speech. " Gentlemen. Who gives a damn what color our side represent? We could all be friends. And I know that's corny, but its the honest truth. We can all get al*vomits up the rest of the soy milk from eariler on the blue mooks grossing them out and thus preventing them from attavking*

The blue fighter freaks out, and won't be able to attack this turn!

Quote from Knight3165»

Seemingly out of nowhere, a rift in space and time enlarges just enough to let a bookcase stand in this dimension just long enough for me to find and grab a book titled "Sparrow training for dummies-- oh, and also how to give someone a really bad headache" from it. I read through this book, and use the knowledge gained from it (the part about the really bad headache, that is) to cast Pestilence on Nyrah

She's dead, so you cast Pestilence on an injured blue fighter, killing it! +23 XP!

Quote from CobaltShade»

CobaltShade: SYNTHETIC VOCALS ⨧ QUESTGIVER: THE QUEST-GIVING COURSE, PART 2

... which is to send the other blue fighter with 140 max HP on a one-part quest!

Team Questgiver: SYNTHETIC VOCALS ⤨ QUESTGIVER: ONE-PART TOURNAMENT

PART TWO HUNDRED TWENTY FOUR: BATTLE TOURNAMENT

He must participate in an epic 4-on-4 battle tournament! His partners are... goanna67, an AirPhone 4 and a bowl of moldy cereal. The first round has them pitted against Dr. Sbaitso, Microsoft Anna, Anon and Kanon. The other team is armed with assault rifles. The fighter's team is armed with... wait for it... air and whatever the Fighter has on him. The Fighter tries to aggress Dr. Sbaitso, but fails horribly as Microsoft Anna shoots the Fighter's chest. Dr. Sbaitso [DATA EXPUNGED], leaving the Fighter horribly injured. goanna67 promptly pulls out the maltec_interventionbytes, but is obliterated by the Anti-Goanna67 Turret. The AirPhone 4 dissipates into air. The bowl of moldy cereal is destroyed by Microsoft Anna's ROFL-47. Anon and Kanon proceed to obliterate the Fighter. They high-five and walk away.

Most of the fighters are dead or badly injured, so you send the creator on the quest! He dies! +29 XP! Gold sword obtained! Give it to someone who you think needs it!

ENEMY PHASE:

The blue fighters back up as you all menacingly advance towards him, pokes the distracted gunner on the shoulder, and they both get up and dash off! You doubt you'll be seeing their injured selves again...

You advance forwards, to the upper area of the robot's chest! Finally, right as you're in the hall outside the blue control room, ready to bust in, one last wave of guards appears!

Blue shaman: Get them! They've caused us ALLTOGETHER TOO MUCH TROUBLE!

They shouldn't be hard to finish! All dead players have revived!

THE BATTLEFIELD:

Location: Ultimate Blue Destroyer Robot, Arm Exit

Blue forces:

Blue gunner, level 14: 150/150(distracted)

Blue gunner, level 14: 150/150(distracted)

Blue fighter, level 13: 110/110 HP, 40 MD, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP)(team fighting: 3/4)

Blue creator, level 17: 230/230 HP, 26 MD, 25/25 Material(has revival talisman)

Blue fighter, level 13: 110/110 HP, 40 MD, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP)(team fighting: 3/4)

Blue shaman, level 18: 150/150 HP, 32 MD, 40/40 Mana, Iron sword(+4 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP) (spellbook: Neutralize, Light wall)

Blue shaman, level 16: 130/130 HP, 32 MD, 36/36 Mana, Iron sword(+4 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP) (spellbook: Neutralize)

Blue shaman, level 16: 130/130 HP, 32 MD, 36/36 Mana, Iron sword(+4 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP) (spellbook: Neutralize)

Players:

ManiacMasteR: Mage, level 10: 147/147 HP, 1/165 XP, 20 MD, 6/26 Mana, Sharpness III Diamond sword(+9 MD)/Protection II Gold armor(+85 HP)(Recharge:1/3)(heal field: 1/4)(has potion of resistance)

Ka_Doink: Fighter, level 12: 125/131 HP, 21/230 XP, 38 MD, Gold sword(+9 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP) (flaming destruction: 1/3)(Team Fighting: Ready!)(minicrits: 0/3)(has potion of resistance)(has milk gun, 3 uses left)(has neutralize page, 3 uses left)

Twinbuilder: Fighter, level 10: 123/128 HP, 58/200 XP, 34 MD, Sharpness I Wrap Blade(+11 MD)(legendary, can stun enemies)/Protection I Diamond armor(+50 HP) (flaming destruction: Ready!)(team fighting: Ready!)(has milk gun, 1 use left)

Fseftr: Fighter, level 10: 121/127 HP, 100/200 XP, 30 MD, Sharpness I Diamond sword(+7 MD)/Protection I Diamond armor(+50 HP) (flaming destruction: Ready!)(team fighting: Ready!)(has potion of strength)(has revival talisman)

Cobaltshade: Mage, level 12: 180/180 HP, 89/260 XP, 26 MD, 30/30 Mana Sharpness III Gold sword(+12 MD)/Protection III Gold armor(+95 HP)(Recharge: 1/3)(Heal Field: 1/4)(siphon, passive)(has golden apple)(has Lightning page, 3 uses left)(has milk gun, 2 uses left)(has spare gold sword)

Netpatham: Mage, level 10: 131/131 HP, 62/200 XP, 22 MD, 26/26 Mana Sharpness III Gold sword(+12 MD)/Protection II Diamond armor(+60 HP)(Recharge: 1/3)(Heal Field: 1/4)(being guarded by Tazz)

The_Nonexistent_Tazz: Tank, level 13: 295/295 HP, 170/300 XP, 41 MD, Sharpness II Gold sword(+11 MD)/Protection III Gold armor(+95 HP) (mirror shield: 1/3)(ground slam:1/4) (overprotective spirit, active) (has milk gun, 3 uses left)(guarding Netpatham)

BioShock_Rules: Fighter, level 11: 125/125 HP, 213/230 XP, 34 MD, Gold sword(+9 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP) (flaming destruction: 2/3)(team fighting: 2/4) (has milk gun, 3 uses left)

omglolsguy: Mage, level 9: 106/106 HP, 84/165 XP, 16 MD, 24/24 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP)(Recharge: Ready!)(heal field: Ready!)

The_Idea_Modpack_Man: Tank, level 9: 169/178 HP, 41/165 XP, 19 MD, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP) (mirror shield: Ready!) (ground slam: Ready!)(has milk gun, 3 uses left)

The_Serpent: Shaman, level 9: 79/84 HP, 26/165 XP, 21 MD, 22/22 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP) (Drain: Ready!)(sacrifice: Ready!)

OverlordXcano: Shaman, level 9: 99/99 HP, 75/165 XP, 21 MD, 22/22 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Diamond armor(+40 HP)(Drain: 1/3)(sacrifice: 1/4)(has light wall page, 3 uses left)

Knight3165: Shaman, level 9: 84/84 HP, 124/165 XP, 22 MD, 15.5/22 Mana, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP)(Drain: Ready!)(sacrifice: Ready!)

Pricey12345: Fighter, level 9: 96/151 HP, 150/165 XP, 26 MD, Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Thorny breastplate(+80 HP, legendary, damages people who attempt to attack it) (flaming destruction: Ready!)(team fighting: Ready!)(has potion of resistance III)

Insert_Generic_Username: Mage, level 9: 92/92 HP, 137/165 XP, 17 MD, 24/24 Mana Diamond sword(+6 MD)/Iron armor(+25 HP)(Recharge: Ready!)(Heal Field: Ready!)

SPELLBOOK:

Mages: Freeze(5 Mana), Thunder(8 Mana), Lightning(13 Mana)

Shamans: Poison(4 Mana), Pestilence(9 Mana), Light wall(15 Mana)

Sage+Druid+Magic Knight(combo spell): Universal combo strike(75 Mana from each)

Other:

Tiny box

Money: $2260

I make the zombie bite a door of a nearby small house, one of the injured doors if possible. The bite turns the door undead, and the zombie promptly spams healing potions at it.