So I return from my very long break from Minecraft only to find my favorite server has died a horrible neglected death.
I'd be happy to do anything I can to help here. I'm a budding pixel artist and I'm pretty damn fluent in the English language. Just tell me what you need done and I'll do my best.
Well one section that has fallen into disrepair concerning the new server is a semi-dedicated, or strictly dedicated texture pack. We were originally using Last Days, but since it has been sparse of updates from 1.1 we thought it would be a nice touch to create our own texture pack (although a remix of other texture packs seems more likely). If you or anyone else has a wealth of expertise on the subject, let me or the other developers know.
A bunch of committed players have banded together to plan and run a computer-dedicated roleplaying server. This is still in the early stages of development, and that being said, we are needing someone with the ability to write a comprehensive background story in a post-apocalyptic theme.
Appropriate Lore Writers should be:
- Experienced in sci-fi and futuristic themes
- Committed
- Willing to already incorporate ideas the staff have established
If you are interested in this, please post below or message me directly. Any further questions can be listed in the same manner.
Out of Character
MineCraft account name:LONEWOLFODST
Country of Residence and Time Zone: U.S. Central
Define roleplaying in your own words, do you have any past roleplaying experiences? it is where you play as someone who is not yourself, yes i do from the plays in school, to minecraft servers
What is your reason for applying to this server? it seems like a good and hard server and the timeline really got me going
Have you been banned before, if so why? no
Do you agree with our rules? yes
Will you use the server's official texture pack? yes
In Character
Character name: (Last names aren't required) Brad gillette
What is your character's race?: human
Your character's story so far: he was born in a sewer where his mother died giving birth to him. his dad took care of him until he was 14 and his died protecting him. he fathers last words were dont trust anyone son but yourself. he buried his father there and moved on. atthe age of 18 he found atown that was still had people in it and he fell the name of dawn. he lived in the town for 2 years until they left. they found a housed and started there until one day when dawn as scavaging she was killed by a demon. he buried a grave at the age of 23 for her. he left the house and moved on scavaging. until he was attacked and nocked out. he woke to find himself in a old military bunker.
Does or did your character have any companions or family? he did his wife dawn
How old is your character? 27
Describe what your character looks like, any distinctive physical features? not much but he raely speaks do to his messed up throught.
How does your character act? mooby and brave at times scared deep down but rarely shows it
Character's occupation:ascavanger
Does your character have an education? (Read or write)yes his father thought him how to read and wrie but now much else.
Any special skills that your character has, nothing unbalanced: no not really but he can hear really well and see far.
Does your character hate or fear anything? yes he fears death
Describe an example of your character in great suffering and pain (RP): i get up from my camp inside a old house. i look out the window to see nothing."damn i guess it was my imagetion." i say to myself. i hear some planks crack behind me to see a guystanding behind me with a gun in hand. "dont move and you dont die." he says. "whoa no need to kill anyone here right.""yes there is if you dont give me any food and ammo you dont get hurt.""alright uff." i say waking to my back pack. inside i pick up my pistol and hind it inside my coat pocket. i turn around and hand him food saying i have no ammo and so he turns around to count how much food is there and i pull out the gun and shoot him twice. once in the head and the other in the chest. he falls down to the ground and i sreach his body and pack for anything. all i found is food,bullets,andthis strange matrail that seems like it makes fire. i then dig a grave and burry hisdeadboby in the grave. i put a tobstone and carve in it "this man is safe now."
Provide an image of your character's skin: idk know how.**** yo ****, I got a mustache
Thank you for your application.
Here is a review:
A) Your back-story has a lot of areas that need improvement. The majority of it is very vague. Please provide greater detail in the story, as well as expanding the length of this section as well, somewhere around 2-3 paragraphs is an optimal length.
You mention that your father taught you how to read and write, however this is not mentioned in your back-story at all. This needs to be connected to provide a more fluid and explainable character.
C) Fearing death is not a legitimate fear, as anything that lives at one point or another fears death. Provide a more tangible fear.
D) I like the general aspect of your story, but it is fairly weak in terms of a proper RP example.
E) A link to your character's skin is mandatory for acceptance. Either provide a link to the website where you found your skin, or post a link to a site, such as mediafire, that offers file sharing.
F) Finally, and most importantly, the grammar throughout this application was horrendous. Proper punctuation and spelling is a necessity for admittance.
Application: DENIED
Feel free to re-post your application when you have improved the areas I have detailed above.
Alright... so, if you read the top of that post, you read "This is for my brother"
I didn't type this app for him, but did give him permission to use my account... I watched him read the lore, whether he didn't pay attention or ignored it, I'll tell him to fix the app... sorry for the trouble.
I did realize this was for your brother, as I was responding directly to him, and not to you.
I appreciate that your spread the word to your brother, as word of mouth is another great way to get this server recognized.
Also no trouble at all, application reviewer is my job after all...
1) I'll fix my story so far, but let it be known I have read the lore.
2)Occupation: Ex military, I used to be a military soldier. I have no other "job" or specialization other then that. I'm not a hunter, farmer, trader etc...
3)You can learn thing in the Military, for ex: Reading and writing.
4)He learned to wield a sword and survive off the land in the Military....
5)Why do I have to change my fear? Where in lore does it say ANYTHING about being afraid of the dark?
The reason that I know you haven't properly read the lore is that if you read the timeline you would understand that the war happened hundreds of years prior to the current date in the server. That being said, the United States ceased to exist around 2055, which makes it impossible for your character to be specifically ex-military and ex-special ops.
For these reasons: a) your story needs to be redone completely, your occupation needs to be edited, c) he wouldn't have learned to read and write in the military because there is/was no military, d) no military means he didn't learn survival skills in the military, and e) The problem with the fear is that your entire squad was killed in the military, again to reiterate something rather repetitive in this comment, there was/is no military.
Characters that address the and utilize the lore of the server or those that are accepted.
On a side note, I don't understand what your character is wearing in your skin that you posted, so some explanation on that as well would be useful.
MineCraft account name:RedDead445 Country of Residence and Time Zone:USA, Eastern Stand Time Define roleplaying in your own words, do you have any past roleplaying experiences? Role playing is acting out the role of another character. I've played on my brothers RP server, and some prison RP servers. What is your reason for applying to this server? I would like to play with my brother, as well as play a Post Apocalyptic server. Have you been banned before, if so why?No. Do you agree with our rules? Yes. Will you use the server's official texture pack?Yes.
In Character Character name: (Last names aren't required)Zane What is your character's race?: Human Your character's story so far:Zane is an Ex Soldier for the U.S Military Spec. Ops. He is a broad shouldered, tall man. He is travels the land, making allies where available, and scavenging when can. Does or did your character have any companions or family? A brother, named Hawke. He is a traveling merchant and farmer, living in the woods. (Hawke is an actual player in game, and really is my brother. His IGN is IEclipseII) How old is your character? 19 Describe what your character looks like, any distinctive physical features? Zane is very tall and broad shouldered. How does your character act? Zane is good at surviving off the land. He makes friends and allies wherever possible. He stands tall and proud, and show loyalty to whoever is friendly to him. Character's occupation:Ex Military Does your character have an education? (Read or write) Zane learned to read and write in the military. Any special skills that your character has, nothing unbalanced: Zane relies on brute strength to win his fights, and nothing more. He is a natural born warrior, and is steady with a sword. Does your character hate or fear anything?Zane fears being alone at night. In the war, he lost all his men, and was injured himself. Ever since that night, walking alone at night, enemies everywhere he has been scared to be out alone at night. Describe an example of your character in great suffering and pain (RP): Zane lie there, on the ground. A gash in his stomach. That power cell sword hit him good. He grunted with every forward motion. He screamed in agony, as the soldier shot him. He was hit between the shoulder blades, and the bullet went through his body, through the gash. His already agonizing painful stomach wound burning and searing with pain. As he lay there, the opposing soldier walked up, and stuck the knife in the gash. Zane blacked out from pain, and remembers nothing more. Provide an image of your character's skin: **** yo ****, I got a mustache
Okay, where to begin...
1) Your "story so far" makes no relevant sense. I hate when people do this. Read the server's lore and you may understand why, I am not going spoon-feed you an answer to make this better. The only thing I will say on top of what I already have, this needs to be at least 2-3 paragraphs in length, go in detail about events in his childhood, growing up in the wastes, etc.
2) Not an occupation, again read lore.
3) Where he learned to read and write, change it, lore issue again.
4) Skills, where did he learn to wield a sword and survive off the land?
5) Change your fear and hate, lore issue YET AGAIN
Guess what your biggest issue is? Yes, lore. From this application it seems to me that you didn't even read the lore for the server, as most parts of your character conflict with that. Read it over, make the changes, and then re-post an application.
Okay sorry if this sounds like a rant, its not meant to be but this problem has been really bugging me. I feel like people are getting too attached to their characters and when the situation presents itself where they are faced with a life threatening situation they refuse to die. People who do this, its an RP server (yes I know I made the 'But its an RP server' reason, sue me) and on the front page it says if your character dies in RP he dies, no ghosts. It really bugs me that say if Im trying to kill JoeShmoy and I fire a shot at his head RP and he dodges over and over until he finally says something like 'Gets shot in the foot'. It really bugs me, Yes I know and I wouldn't want Theo to die but if I am faced with a situation where I won't come out alive, Theo will die. People need to be more open with the fact that its okay if your character dies. Right now Im trying to make a RP event where a new Character presents himself that knows Theo, as in a back up character, but the people who are vital to it aren't on usually (Rethosians.....). If you are so insecure about your Character dying then make that character go into hibernation or something and make a new character that CAN die because it takes away from the RP of an Apocolyptic-Wasteland feel if no one dies. Sorry if I sound like Im ranting I just don't want people to be Immortal on this server. Oh and another thing (yes there's more you'll live) is when people make their characters overpowered to the point of extremity and such. Im fine if you level up your character with Mcmmo, that Im fine with but when people make their characters able to have robotic legs and they can jump over buildings or something that overpowers them in a fight I think is unfair. Just my thoughts
On a seemingly unrelated note, I keep getting a Server is most likely outdated message. Anyone else?
Define roleplaying in your own words, do you have any past roleplaying experiences? World of warcraft, I have many great memories back when there was a large RP population. What is your reason for applying to this server? I've read into this server rather a lot. It sounds fantastic, I'd love to praise the person who wrote most of the scripts.
Have you been banned before, if so why? No, never.
Do you agree with our rules? I agree.
Will you use the server's official texture pack? Yes, it's all working.
Character name: Davis
What is your character's race?: Human
Your character's story so far: Davis never had the chance to be a child, at the age of seven his parents were brutally murdered by passing raiders and Davis was thrown into a life of chaos and false security. He spent the following years living in refuges, one by one they were always overrun. The quest to find home would continue again. At the age of eleven Davis was taken under the wing by an old sheriff that maintained peace and security to the folks of Bridgewart (refuge), it was here that Davis finally called home.
Davis spent the next couple of years running errands for the Sheriff and helping the other refugees to rebuild their lives. He would spend most of his days on the scrapheap searching for valuables to vendor or repair, he became an asset to the refuge. His strength grew, his confidence boomed and his motivation to prevent his home from being destroyed was encrusted to his heart.
Davis made an oath and sworn to protect those he loved, but his secret passion never died with his parents. When Davis was alone, he would uncover his mothers diary and start to read, he was fortunate to have been home schooled when he was young and this was his only way of feeling closer to the life he once had.
Many years past and peace remained in Bridgewart, the refuge grew into a town and the people became a community and Davis, he grew into a man (26). Then it happened. One night, one peaceful night the town was struck by a fierce storm, but it was no storm. The raiders had returned. The men took up arms to protect their loved ones and life they had created. They took to the outer walls surrounding the town to protect the main gate. Davis rushed from his slumber at the news, grabbing his trusty gun and charged to help the Sheriff, but it was too late. The raiders overpowered the town, slaughtering them in the hundreds. Davis tried to evacuate the remaining towns folk but to no prevail, the Sheriff had returned battle worn from the walls and signalled for Davis to follow. He had no choice...
So here he is. On the run again, those he had ever loved slaughtered... The Sheriff and Davis headed North towards the next refuge, the Sheriff's wounds were deep. Refusing to abandon the man who was like father to Davis, he grabbed his arms and carried him on his back for the next eight miles. It wasn't enough, the Sheriff died in his arms... His last words telling Davis to "never look back".
Does or did your character have any companions or family? Not any more.
How old is your character? 26
Describe what your character looks like, any distinctive physical features? Davis is well kept, he maintains his hygiene as much as he possibly can. He boasts a sensible short beard in resemblance to the only picture of his father in his possession. Amongst the most important of his possessions was his fathers old miners work attire which he salvaged before running from home. One would think a military experience, but Davis just maintains and cherishes his fathers uniform.
How does your character act? He is understanding, he respects those who contribute. But he always sleeps with one eye open, every man for himself...
Character's occupation: On the move searching for a place to call home.
Does your character have an education? He was fortunate to have been educated at home all those years ago, and also during his stay at his last refuge, an old teacher taught him during his scavenging duties.
Any special skills that your character has, nothing unbalanced: He is physical, has learnt much in Engineering and construction and can look after himself.
Does your character hate or fear anything? He fears for those around him, that they may get hurt. He hates raiders...
Describe an example of your character in great suffering and pain (RP): Davis: "I have longed for a place to call home, but why must my search go on? Has hope all but left this stagnant world? Curse! I will proceed, either they help me or not I'll find my home. If it kills me, so be it. Wait... That scorched smell, Mutants!"
Glancing back upon the open wasteland, a flood of Mutants charge wildly towards Davis in a craze of delusional chaos and madness. Davis flings his pack over his right shoulder and with a solid stride takes off without hesitation, north to Delrick, the last remaining bastion of hope.
Suddenly a sharp pain jolts up Davis's left leg! A Mutant has him in its grasp! With a loud crack the Mutant sinks its jagged nails deep into the flesh around Davis's ankle, hitting bone... Davis screeches wildly in agony, his face redder than a blood soaked massacre. With a clenched fist and swift swing Davis knocks the Mutant of balance shattering its lower jaw! Regaining posture Davis bites down hard on a leather strap loosely hanging from his pack. He quickly tears his shirt and wraps his exposed wound with the linen. With force Davis drags his legs back into motion one by one, he must continue, or die.
Provide an image of your character's skin: Having a hard time finding where minecraft screenshots go >.<
**** yo ****,I got a moustache, nearly forgot to include this.
Glad that you took the time to reapply
Okay, I really enjoy the proper grammar of the application, as I have said before. You lengthened the aspects I mentioned (backstory and RP example), as well as providing a link to your image.
I was looking for more of an example of how you would RP in the server, but the story itself was well written and thought out. Since your application is so neat, and I am in a giving mood...
Application ACCEPTED
Let me be the first to welcome you to the server, and I will try and get your name whitelisted by a whitelister (hopefully one of them is reading this post as well...)
MineCraft account name: MinerDavis Country of Residence and Time Zone: England, UTC. Define roleplaying in your own words, do you have any past roleplaying experiences? World of warcraft, I have many great memories back when there was a large RP population. What is your reason for applying to this server? I've read into this server rather a lot. It sounds fantastic, I'd love to praise the person who wrote most of the scripts. Have you been banned before, if so why? No, never. Do you agree with our rules? I agree. Will you use the server's official texture pack? Yes, it's all working.
Character name: Davis
What is your character's race?: Human
Your character's story so far: His parents were killed by raiders, he has grown up moving from refuge to refuge. Time has passed and now Davis longs to find a place to call him. He's ready, at least he thinks so.
Does or did your character have any companions or family? Not any more.
How old is your character? 26
Describe what your character looks like, any distinctive physical features? Davis is well kept, he maintains his hygiene as much as he possibly can. He boasts a sensible short beard in resemblance to the only picture of his father in his possession. Amongst the most important of his possessions was his fathers old miners work attire which he salvaged before running from home. One would think a military experience, but Davis just maintains and cherishes his fathers uniform.
How does your character act? He is understanding, he respects those who contribute. But he always sleeps with one eye open, every man for himself...
Character's occupation: On the move searching for a place to call home.
Does your character have an education? He was fortunate to have been educated during his stay at his last refuge, an old teacher taught him during his scavenging duties.
Any special skills that your character has, nothing unbalanced: He is physical, has learnt much in Engineering and construction and can look after himself.
Does your character hate or fear anything? He fears for those around him, that they may get hurt. He hates raiders...
Describe an example of your character in great suffering and pain (RP): Davis: I have longed for a place to call home, but why must my search go on? Has hope all but left this stagnant world? Curse! I will proceed, either they help me or not. I'll find a home, if it kills me, so be it...
Provide an image of your character's skin: Having a hard time finding where minecraft screenshots go >.<
**** yo ****,I got a moustache, nearly forgot to include this.
Oh and just to include, I really hope this gets replied to or I get whitelisted soon. This server I hope lives up to my expectations that it has created. Sounds fantastic. Get back to me soon please
I appreciate the proper grammar in this application. However, with that being said, your back story is far far too short. This needs to be a couple paragraphs in length minimum, not a couple of sentences. Go into detail about where he grew up, who he grew up with, how he learned skills, etc.
Your pain and suffering example is not a proper RP example, it is simply your character talking to himself. Please make it an interaction between your character and some anonymous other character (such as a raider, etc) and demonstrate RP actions etc.
Also, an attachment of your character's skin is mandatory. Either attack a picture, or provide a link.
Define roleplaying in your own words, do you have any past roleplaying experiences? Got some RP experience from playing on a World of Warcraft RP servers. To me RP means creating an alternate personality and trying your best to fulfill the role and having fun with it.
What is your reason for applying to this server? Looking for a mature civilized server to play in that ain’t over run with griefers and PVP. Also like the RP aspect of it.
Have you been banned before, if so why? Nope.
Do you agree with our rules? Yes.
Will you use the server's official texture pack? Yes
In Character
Character name: (Last names aren't required) Myke_Hunt
What is your character's race?: Human.
Your character's story so far: Was born a human but raised by Valoshans at a young age when my settlement was attacked. The Valoshan raiders felt pity on me and spared me from death and adopted me as one of their own I hold no animosity towards them I even grew up learning and believing in the Prophet. I always wondered why I was different from the rest. When the great freeze happened in 2450 my whole tribe moved to Rethosia where I had my first contact with other humans. All was good until my foster parents started to believe me to be the next Prophet. That caused quite a stir amongst the Valoshans and for that sacrilege my foster parents were killed and I was exiled into the waste lands. Now I roam the wasteland trying to find solace in the memory of both my birth and adopted parents.
Does or did your character have any companions or family? None both adopted and birth parents were killed.
How old is your character? 35
Describe what your character looks like, any distinctive physical features? Lots of scratches from other Valoshans when I was exiled.
How does your character act? Conflicted between my human nature and my Valoshan upbringing, wondering where I belong in this world.
Character's occupation: believed to be the next Valoshan Prophet even though I am human.
Does your character have an education? (Read or write) In my earlier years no, but when my tribe moved to Rethosia I learned to read and write from the scientists there.
Any special skills that your character has, nothing unbalanced: the first human to totally integrate with Valoshan society.
Does your character hate or fear anything? Hate and fear being alone
Describe an example of your character in great suffering and pain (RP): "mommy Daddy!!!! wake up why aren’t you moving?"
I look down at my parent’s ragged corpses with their bloody intestines strewn about and the blank looks in their eyes as they stare back at me for the last time. My new family assures to me as they take me to my new home. I take one last look at when everything made as much sense as it can in this broken world and try to remember the good times and never forget my true family.
Provide an image of your character's skin: http://www.minecraft...7/herobrine-hd/
Okay, here goes...
Your character name needs to be changed. This totally goes against the "maturity" aspect you seem to be looking for.
Your story needs some more depth. I do like how you integrated current settlements within the story, however it is a little to short; add another paragraph or so and it would be of a more acceptable length.
There are two issues with your story that conflicts current lore and history: A human cannot be a prophet, also two cannot be born at once. There already is a Valoshan prophet, therefore your character could not have been considered one. Also, there are no Valoshan settlements, but scattered Valoshans living in the wastes, this race is fairly sparse.
Your RP example needs a little work, just doesn't have a good flow to it.
Finally, you are missing a key part of this application, please review your application and if you would like to, re-post when edits have been made.
Out of Character
MineCraft account name:travisw3
Country of Residence and Time Zone:EST/USA
Define roleplaying in your own words, do you have any past roleplaying experiences?Roleplaying,Basically you are taking the shoes of someone and you play as that character.Yes I do alot of different mc servers and garry's mod.
What is your reason for applying to this server?I love rp.With Post Apoc being the absolut best.I can not play Medieval crap.
Have you been banned before, if so why?Banned?On some faction servers,For over griefing.
Do you agree with our rules?Yes,**** yo ****,I got a mustache.
Will you use the server's official texture pack?Yup,I love last days.
In Character
Character name:Zavander Zozalstein (Last names aren't required)
What is your character's race?:Human
Your character's story so far:Zavander was born in Xolburg,A tiny village in germany established after the war.Zavander grew in Xolburg as a popular young boy.He was one of the best hunters in town,He was renowned for strangling a boar with his bear hands,He could hit better then he could shoot.Zavander practiced everyday in the fields.Hitting targets with daggers and swords from his GrandFathers collection.Then one day Fureh of Xolborg said on the loud speakers "All ze rezidentz!Get inzide quickly!The Raiderz of Ze Landz are coming!".Zavander then sprints to his home,He sees the door wide open in his shack.Zavander runs into his Shack,And sees a sword being shoved through his mother and father.He then feels..nothing.Zavander begins to yell and scream,Eventually charging at the 2 raiders,Killing them both.After the raid,It was late at night and Zavander was one of the few survivors.He traveled out into the german wastelands by himself.
As he traveled the wasteland,He heard of a near re-built community.Called America.He then set out to find some sort of transportation to this so called America.Zavander soon became what he hated the most,A heartless,lifeless,worthless dirt low raider.He killed women,kids,and men.But he survived,Its what he had to do.It was the wastelands,The survival of the fittest.Then one day he was passing by some village and heard screams."Ze Skylord Francent is flying german wastelanders to ze wonderwafful America!".From there his eyes lit up and his dreams came true.He entered the sort of vertibird.It took them a week or two to land,But they finally made it.When they landed Zavander decided to kill most of the passangers and take their stuff.He has been traveling the wastelands for nearly 3 years now,Hopelessly raiding.Feared,Is what he is.
or did your character have any companions or family?Yes,He did.
How old is your character?29
Describe what your character looks like, any distinctive physical features?Black Hair,Tattered Leather Clothes,White.
How does your character act?Sociopathic,Raider Type,Does'nt talk much.
Character's occupation:Raider
Does your character have an education?Yes,He does (Read or write)
Any special skills that your character has, nothing unbalanced:Melee Skills,Good Slaver
Does your character hate or fear anything?He fears Fuelbots.
Describe an example of your character in great suffering and pain (RP):Zavander is walking in the desert,He then hears a loud crackle.Zavander:What ze hell is zat.*Unsheathes sword*
Then out of the of nowhere,2 mutants came rushing at him
Zavander:What ze hell!*Swings sword at the mutant cutting the mutant nearly in half*
Then the last mutant bites Zavander right on the arm.
Zavander:Ahh!!!It is burning.
The mutant stood their,Waiting for him to die so he can feast on him.Zander was in the pain of a lifetime,Like his arm was lit on fire,Head split in half,And his body felt like his soul was leaving.Then out of nowhere.A arrow goes fly through the mutants chest.
Zavander:Who ze ****.*Slowly gets up and stumbles away*
Provide an image of your character's skin:Lost it
First off, the length of this application is great.
However, there are a few flaws that need to be addressed. Your grammar and spelling is awful. Sentence structure is needing improvement, and please, for the love of god, use the space in between all of your punctuation marks. This tells me either you need to improve those skills and/or you didn't take long enough to properly format this application (which to me shows a lack of interest).
The pain and suffering needs improvement, as this is just a fight example, and a bite is hardly a significant example.
Your story does not explain how your character learned to read and write, please expand to explain this.
It is also mandatory that you provide an image of the skin you will be using, please attach a link or the image to be accepted.
Under the above mentioned issues: DENIED
Please feel free to re-post your application after improvements have been made.
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Well one section that has fallen into disrepair concerning the new server is a semi-dedicated, or strictly dedicated texture pack. We were originally using Last Days, but since it has been sparse of updates from 1.1 we thought it would be a nice touch to create our own texture pack (although a remix of other texture packs seems more likely). If you or anyone else has a wealth of expertise on the subject, let me or the other developers know.
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A bunch of committed players have banded together to plan and run a computer-dedicated roleplaying server. This is still in the early stages of development, and that being said, we are needing someone with the ability to write a comprehensive background story in a post-apocalyptic theme.
Appropriate Lore Writers should be:
- Experienced in sci-fi and futuristic themes
- Committed
- Willing to already incorporate ideas the staff have established
If you are interested in this, please post below or message me directly. Any further questions can be listed in the same manner.
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Thank you for your application.
Here is a review:
A) Your back-story has a lot of areas that need improvement. The majority of it is very vague. Please provide greater detail in the story, as well as expanding the length of this section as well, somewhere around 2-3 paragraphs is an optimal length.
C) Fearing death is not a legitimate fear, as anything that lives at one point or another fears death. Provide a more tangible fear.
D) I like the general aspect of your story, but it is fairly weak in terms of a proper RP example.
E) A link to your character's skin is mandatory for acceptance. Either provide a link to the website where you found your skin, or post a link to a site, such as mediafire, that offers file sharing.
F) Finally, and most importantly, the grammar throughout this application was horrendous. Proper punctuation and spelling is a necessity for admittance.
Application: DENIED
Feel free to re-post your application when you have improved the areas I have detailed above.
I did realize this was for your brother, as I was responding directly to him, and not to you.
I appreciate that your spread the word to your brother, as word of mouth is another great way to get this server recognized.
Also no trouble at all, application reviewer is my job after all...
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The reason that I know you haven't properly read the lore is that if you read the timeline you would understand that the war happened hundreds of years prior to the current date in the server. That being said, the United States ceased to exist around 2055, which makes it impossible for your character to be specifically ex-military and ex-special ops.
For these reasons: a) your story needs to be redone completely,
Characters that address the and utilize the lore of the server or those that are accepted.
On a side note, I don't understand what your character is wearing in your skin that you posted, so some explanation on that as well would be useful.
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Okay, where to begin...
1) Your "story so far" makes no relevant sense. I hate when people do this. Read the server's lore and you may understand why, I am not going spoon-feed you an answer to make this better. The only thing I will say on top of what I already have, this needs to be at least 2-3 paragraphs in length, go in detail about events in his childhood, growing up in the wastes, etc.
2) Not an occupation, again read lore.
3) Where he learned to read and write, change it, lore issue again.
4) Skills, where did he learn to wield a sword and survive off the land?
5) Change your fear and hate, lore issue YET AGAIN
Guess what your biggest issue is? Yes, lore. From this application it seems to me that you didn't even read the lore for the server, as most parts of your character conflict with that. Read it over, make the changes, and then re-post an application.
Application DENIED
2
*cough* Merchant's Ghost *cough*
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Glad that you took the time to reapply
Okay, I really enjoy the proper grammar of the application, as I have said before. You lengthened the aspects I mentioned (backstory and RP example), as well as providing a link to your image.
I was looking for more of an example of how you would RP in the server, but the story itself was well written and thought out. Since your application is so neat, and I am in a giving mood...
Application ACCEPTED
Let me be the first to welcome you to the server, and I will try and get your name whitelisted by a whitelister (hopefully one of them is reading this post as well...)
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I appreciate the proper grammar in this application. However, with that being said, your back story is far far too short. This needs to be a couple paragraphs in length minimum, not a couple of sentences. Go into detail about where he grew up, who he grew up with, how he learned skills, etc.
Your pain and suffering example is not a proper RP example, it is simply your character talking to himself. Please make it an interaction between your character and some anonymous other character (such as a raider, etc) and demonstrate RP actions etc.
Also, an attachment of your character's skin is mandatory. Either attack a picture, or provide a link.
Application: DENIED
Feel free to tweak the application and reapply.
Okay, here goes...
Your character name needs to be changed. This totally goes against the "maturity" aspect you seem to be looking for.
Your story needs some more depth. I do like how you integrated current settlements within the story, however it is a little to short; add another paragraph or so and it would be of a more acceptable length.
There are two issues with your story that conflicts current lore and history: A human cannot be a prophet, also two cannot be born at once. There already is a Valoshan prophet, therefore your character could not have been considered one. Also, there are no Valoshan settlements, but scattered Valoshans living in the wastes, this race is fairly sparse.
Your RP example needs a little work, just doesn't have a good flow to it.
Finally, you are missing a key part of this application, please review your application and if you would like to, re-post when edits have been made.
DENIED
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First off, the length of this application is great.
However, there are a few flaws that need to be addressed. Your grammar and spelling is awful. Sentence structure is needing improvement, and please, for the love of god, use the space in between all of your punctuation marks. This tells me either you need to improve those skills and/or you didn't take long enough to properly format this application (which to me shows a lack of interest).
The pain and suffering needs improvement, as this is just a fight example, and a bite is hardly a significant example.
Your story does not explain how your character learned to read and write, please expand to explain this.
It is also mandatory that you provide an image of the skin you will be using, please attach a link or the image to be accepted.
Under the above mentioned issues: DENIED
Please feel free to re-post your application after improvements have been made.