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I heal myself using my estus flask.

I apologize for my absence. I was very busy with homework and stuff.

Quote from LifeAsRoyalRanger»

I didn't even try the language in the first place, so of course i die a painful death. I use the free revive.

You used the free revive. Get up!

Quote from algot120»

I summon sans from undertale

Rolled a 3.
You failed to summon anything.

Quote from UltraCraftGames»

ugh HEAL HEAL

Rolled a 3.
You failed to heal again.

Quote from BioShock_Rules»

I attempt to attack the skulldozer by utilizing the first three levels of Cuil theory.

1 Cuil: The skulldozer asks me for a hamburger. I give him a raccoon.

2 Cuils: The skulldozer asks me for a hamburger, but it turns out I don't exist. In my place sits a picture of a hamburger.

3 Cuils: The skulldozer awakes as a hamburger. He screams, only to have special sauce fly from his lips. The world is in sepia tone.

For some reason, this damages him.

Rolled a 5!
You caused The Skulldozer's Mask to degenerate with that sort of logic. 40 HP of damage!

Quote from GoldHero101»

80 damage with my rapier on a 6??? GEEEEEZ. us. I attempt to soulbind my rapier once again. Don't want to lose it on death...

You casted Soulbound on your rapier. You won't lose it on death, but it will lose its soulbound status when you revive after death.

Quote from dufhugth21»

I keep on trying to use Throwing Sword Barrage. Hopefully luck doesn't hate me.

Rolled a 2.

You accidentally cut your face in the process of missing the target, making you lose 2 HP of damage.

Pepe, Lord of Memes

♥♥♥ - 7/10 HP
⚔⚔⚔ 3 ATK

Quote from UltraCraftGames»

i heal myslef up while adding a little bit of mass to increase my max hp too

Rolled a 1.
You failed to produce magic to heal yourself.

Quote from BioShock_Rules»

I choose not to repair the turret, but instead to use its wreckage to bash the cloaker over the head until he stops living.

Rolled a 4.
You bash the cloaker over the head with a metal stick from your turret. It deals 31 HP of damage.

Quote from dufhugth21»

Revive!

If I still can use an action, I use Throwing Sword Barrage again on Skulldozer.

Free Revive used. Up you go!
Rolled a 3.
You throw your sword, however, it goes over the dozers head, and sticks to the wall behind him.

Quote from LifeAsRoyalRanger»

I shall attempt elimination of the remaining cloaker.

Rolled a 1.
You attempt to "eliminate" the cloaker by trying to use a quote from Fist of the North Star 「北斗の拳」, however, your Japanese isn't fluent at all, and you end up saying something different.
LifeAsRoyalRanger: 俺はもう死んでいる。
Everyone Else: 何？？？

LifeAsRoyalRanger's head then inflates like a balloon, and pops, exploding his brains. Massive amounts of blood spills out onto the floor, and he collapses onto the ground. お前はもう死んでいる。リスタート？

Quote from GoldHero101»

I backstab the cloaker. Why? It deals lotsa damage!

Rolled a 6!!!
You put a MINE on your rapier, and backstab the cloaker with it.

80 HP of damage, the Cloaker explodes into pieces. However, your arm also got blown off in the process, taking 2 HP of damage away from you.

Quote from algot120»

I shoot skulldozer with a gaster blaster

Rolled a 2.
You order your Gaster Blaster to attack the Skulldozer, what you didn't realize is that you had chicken wing sauce on your finger from when you were eating Popeyes on your way to the dungeon, and your Gaster Blaster bit your hand instead. Ouch! 2 HP of damage to you.

The Skulldozer fails to fire at anybody.

Lunatic Cultist's Phantasm Dragon bites the Skulldozer for 15 HP of damage, since the Skulldozer is so tough, the original damage had been halved.

Pepe, Lord of Memes

♥♥♥ - 7/10 HP
⚔⚔⚔ 3 ATK

Superintendent Chalmers: Seymour? Are you there?

*DING DONG*

Quote from UltraCraftGames»

i shoot a laser at both cloakers while also putting some mass on me making me tankier

Rolled a 1.

A fly landed on your eye, and you reacted by trying to shoot it with your laser. It burns your eye, leaving third degree burns. You lose 4 HP.

Quote from GoldHero101»

Holy crap! I attempt to cast Soulbind on the rapier.

You boost your roll for next round. However, you already had a roll decrease, so it cancels out the roll decrease out for 1 turn.

Quote from BioShock_Rules»

"Could've gone better..."

I use my free heal to revive myself.

You used your Free Revive. Get up!

Quote from LifeAsRoyalRanger»

"Please don't use the healing potion yet! at least wait until one last person is up."

Hopefully my voice can be heard to the dead players.

Nonetheless, i attempt to dodge anything that tries to kill me.

Dodge Chance for this turn: 50%

Quote from dufhugth20»

I use Throwing Sword Barrage, my other special attack on Skulldozer.

Rolled a 2.
You don't know much about throwing heavy objects, so you try and throw your sword. unfortunately, it struck you instead, and killed you for 2 HP of damage. Your body sinks down to hell. Game over, man! Game over! Attempt to revive, or use your Free Revive?

Quote from O5Fourteen»

Free revive: USING

If I can do something, I charge-tackle one of the cloakers.

You used your Free Revive. Get up!
Rolled a 6!!!
You put on a German WWI helmet that looks like this

You charge at Cloaker A, head-first, impaling his stomach, and making his insides rupture up for 60 HP of damage! Unfortunately, you now have a headache, and you take 2 HP of damage from the recoil. Cloaker A dies.

O5Fourteen: Got the cloaker Son-of-a-gun!

The Skulldozer tries to fire his gun, but fails to hit anybody.


The Cloaker starts making a high-frequency sound, and starts sprinting towards one of your units.

KABOOM!!!!!!!
3 HP to BioShock_Rules' Mounted Turret! A heavy kick!
BioShock_Rules's Mounted Turret breaks, and falls to the ground. To repair it, you must take 3 turns to rebuild it. Repair it, or Abandon it? Your choice, BioShock_Rules.

Pepe, Lord of Memes

♥♥♥ - 7/10 HP
⚔⚔⚔ 3 ATK

Quote from dufhugth20»

I use Spin Slice. Remember, this attack hits ALL enemies.

Rolled a 4.

You spun around with your sword, managing to slice all the enemies for 30 HP of damage.

Quote from BioShock_Rules»

I wonder if there's any way to kill the cloakers, before clotheslining the skulldozer with my bear trap fist.

Rolled a 0 (1-1)...

You attempt to clothesline the bulldozer, but you suddenly experience a sheer amount of unbearable pain. So much, that you forget that you have a bear trap fist on, so you knock yourself downwards so powerful, it creates a falcon punch nuke on yourself. It was so powerful, it damaged everybody on your team by 3 HP, and ripped you to shreds instantly. In fact, the failure was so powerful, you either have to wait 3 turns to revive, or use a free heal to instantly revive yourself to full HP. It's not just GAME OVER, It's LIFE OVER. Wait 3 Turns to be revived, or use your free heal. Your Bear Trap Fist is also gone.

O5Fourteen also dies from the intensity of the explosion. He can choose to revive, or use up his free heal to revive to full HP. AWW SHUCKS! Retry?

Lunatic Cultist's Ancient Vision also cracks in half, and ceases to exist.

Quote from UltraCraftGames»

I think its time i fuse with my discount ruin to turn my character into ULTRA RUIN SCOURGE OF THE UNIVERSE

Rolled a 4.

You fuse with your Ruin, becoming stronger, but nerfing your HP. If you die while fused with the rune, you have to wait 2 turns in order to be revived.

Quote from GoldHero101»

I attempt to improve my spell rapier by crafting it with my spikes on my Bear Trap.

Rolled a 7 (6+1).

You improve your Spell Rapier, and it becomes your own item. The Spell Trap Rapier. Using it will double the damage of thrust-based attacks by 2.5, however, it will decrease your roll by 1 unless you are supported. If you die with it equipped, you lose it.

Quote from LifeAsRoyalRanger»

"Cmon, you guys already have improved your stuff enough, the cloakers must be taken care of first!"

I shall attempt to stab one of the cloakers with a poisonous knife.

Rolled a 4 (3+1).

You stab Cloaker B with a poisonous Kunai, dealing him 20 HP of damage, and making him have the "POISONED" debuff. The debuff will cost him 10 HP every turn.

Cloakers A and B prepare their attacks.

Cloaker A vomits blood, and loses 10 HP from the Poison.

The Resistance Boost has worn off.

Skulldozer: A ZERO? THAT'S THE BEST YOU GOT? PATHETIC! I'LL STILL WHOOP ALL OF YOU, PLATE OR NO PLATE!

Pepe, Lord of Memes

♥♥♥ - 7/10 HP
⚔⚔⚔ 3 ATK

Quote from GoldHero101»

I sheathe my Spell Rapier and say, "Stuff it." I punch the guy across the face. Like, really hard.

Rolled a 4.

You punch the Skulldozer across the face, but not as hard as you expect to. 10 HP of damage to the Skulldozer.

Quote from O5Fourteen»

USING: BEAR TRAP FIST

I punch the Skulldozer in the head.... with both hands at the same time!

Rolled a 1 (2-1).

Just as you were about to punch the skulldozer, you coughed, leading you to punching yourself in the head, making your bear trap fists penetrate through your windpipe, and making you bleed massively. However, you only took 6 HP of damage, because you knew medical skills, and sewed your wound.

Quote from LifeAsRoyalRanger»

I attempt to boost every player's roll without using the die.

Rolled a 4.

You managed to boost everybody's roll by 1!

Quote from UltraCraftGames»

I summon more and more parts for my ruin to make it more and more both defensive and offensive

Rolled a 5 (4+1).

You only manage to find a spike. you equip it, and add 1 ATK to your discount ruin.

Quote from dufhugth20»

I unleash Fire Finale!

Rolled a 2 (1+1).

You unleash fire finale, however, you're a little sleep deprived, and launch it a little too close to yourself instead. You get second degree burns from the fire, dealing 4 HP of damage to you, because it was charged before.

Quote from BioShock_Rules»

"Let's try this thing out..."

I exit the turret, crack my knuckles, and give the skulldozer a right hook with my bear trap fist.

Rolled a 6!!!

Instead of a normal punch with your bear trap fist, you did a FALCON PUNCH, for 120 HP of damage, it also bursts through and hits his visor, too! However, your hand remained on fire for quite a bit, leaving you with some second degree burns for 2 HP of damage.

The Skulldozer calls in 2 Cloakers. They will INSTAKILL anybody, as they can deliver a kick that shatters your spine.

Pepe, Lord of Memes

♥♥♥ - 10/10 HP
⚔⚔⚔ 3 ATK

Green Glowing Die of Power will not be used this battle.

Quote from LifeAsRoyalRanger»

I continue assisting the Lunatic Cultist.

You continue assisting the Lunatic Cultist. Lunatic Cultist's Ancient Vision will take 1 more turn to build.

Quote from UltraCraftGames»

dam it i need to upgrade my ruin more and more and more AND MOREEEEEEEEEEEEE i throw even more offensive things on it.

Rolled a 2.
You couldn't find anymore parts for your Discount Ruin.

Quote from BioShock_Rules»

"Come to Tachanka, baby!"

I lay down a wall of bullets in the skulldozer's direction, screaming at the top of my lungs the whole time.

Rolled a 5!
With the attack boost of your bullets, you manage to somehow penetrate a little through his plate, with a whopping 71 HP of damage to the plate!

Quote from GoldHero101»

I do the starting loop for Red Mage.

Rolled a 2 (3-1).
You accidentally cast Fiarga on yourself, and took 2 HP of damage.

Quote from dufhugth20»

I charge Fire Finale. Next turn it will be used.

You store energy for your next turn. It will effect the next turn depending on what you roll, beware of 1s and 2s.

Quote from O5Fourteen»

I punch the Skulldozer in the head.

Rolled a 3.
You attempt to punch the Skulldozer, but your fist just bounced right back like it was nothing.

Skulldozer rapidly fires his LMG, dealing 2.75 HP of damage to Lunatic Cultist. (Resistance Boost Halved it.)

Lunatic Cultist casts lightning, dealing 5 HP of damage to the Skulldozer. (I forgot to mention, the Skulldozer only takes half damage from allies.)

Pepe, Lord of Memes

♥♥♥ - 10/10 HP
⚔⚔⚔ 3 ATK

Quote from UltraCraftGames»

i put the portals of doom attachment on the ruin

You put portals of doom on your Discount Ruin, making it have an extra 5 HP.

Quote from BioShock_Rules»

I thank Stalin for helping with the turret, then try to make it a little more durable by attaching a deployable shield to it.

You put a shield to your turret, and make it have extra 5 HP.

Quote from GoldHero101»

I quickly craft an Improved Spell Rapier w/ Spell Focus. I dub it "Blood Red".

You have crafted a new weapon, the Spell Rapier, and you equip it. Thrust-based attacks will do 2x more damage, but will reduce your roll by 1 unless you get boosted.

Quote from O5Fourteen»

I attempt to buy a Bear Trap Fist. If I succeed, I give it to GoldHero101.

Rolled a 4.
You bought the very last item, and gave the Bear Trap Fist to GoldHero101.

Quote from LifeAsRoyalRanger»

I continue helping the cultist finish the Ancient Vision.

You continue helping Lunatic Cultist build his Ancient Vision. Ancient Vision will be built in 3 turns.


Giantdad: Alright guys, you bought all my stuff, now scram! I have things to do.
Everybody Except GoldHero101: Thanks, Giantdad!
GoldHero101: why can't i get any currency :c. oh well, at least i got a bear trap fist, thank you giantdad.

You go to the next room. It is a dark place, and there appears to be a vault, but what could it be of?

BioShock_Rules: Alright guys, I've been in this situation before. We have to drill the vault open.
UltraCraftGames: Drill it? Ohhh, sweet. I want whatever's inside this vault.
LifeAsRoyalRanger: Me too, let's crack it open!
GoldHero101: I don't like where this is going, especially since my luck was terrible in the shop before us.

BioShock_Rules puts up the drill to the vault

???: NOT SO FAST, HEISTERS!

Everybody except ???: oh no...

???: You.. Have made a very bad mistake. You're dealing with the elite now, suckers!

BioShock_Rules: WHO ARE YOU? SHOW YOURSELF!

Skulldozer: NO PAYDAY FOR YOU, CLOBBERING TIME! SKULLDOZER INCOMING!

Pepe, Lord of Memes

♥♥♥ - 10/10 HP
⚔⚔⚔ 3 ATK

Quote from Trialmaster»

Please stop yelling into my ear, mum!

I sort of agree with this. Prison servers, and all that other stuff are kinda cliche and boring, i've gotta say.

that title's a bit ambiguous, if you're asking a question, please be thorough.