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    posted a message on [Story]Unknown Consequences[Unfinished]
    Hey, it's been something like two years. Update. Still not finished.
    Posted in: Literature
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    posted a message on Consumption
    Hello. Update, Chapter 2.
    Posted in: Literature
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    posted a message on Whats disturbing about the above profile pic?
    Not enough color.
    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on Would you use the above avatar as a pillow?
    Nah, doesn't look comfortable at all. Not soft and puffy.
    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on The above avatar pops out of a wrapped present!
    I'd tell him to go back to his spirit world or whatever. Maybe the orb got broken again. I hope I don't look like anybody he knew.

    Hehe. My avatar.
    Posted in: Forum Games
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    posted a message on My Minecraft Story (For lack of a better name) [CH 3: The First Night]
    You have a number of problems in the writing, grammar, spelling, and so on, but overall, I think the story is okay, possibly only mediocre. The plot you have is fairly dull, as it's the generic wake up on sand, find out danger and blocks and all that. However, the way you approach the detail of the inventory is interesting. It's most likely not the most original, but you described it well. I enjoyed that part.
    Posted in: Literature
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    posted a message on Ender's Plague; Minecraft's Zombie Apocalypse
    It's an interesting concept. I think the whole Enderman infecting people to become Enderman is a fairly unique idea, not as overdone as some Minecraft themes that are popular. However, you have only mentioned the bare basics of the idea and the title names, so I can't say much more than that. Good luck.
    Posted in: Literature
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    posted a message on The Eye Project (Rewritten): A Demon's Conquest [Finished... Read Final Chapter]
    I think the writing itself is alright. Your grammar and spelling are decent. You might want to expand on your vocabulary.

    As for the plot itself, I think the whole Notch is God and there's a demon/Devil that created The Nether while Notch created the Overworld is very unoriginal. Of course, there is very little to be original about in Minecraft, but I find that Notch being God is probably one of the more overdone themes.

    Additionally, the deriving of a name from a word and including it within the story is rather iffy. In my opinion, I feel like the Devil/Derik should've just been the name to begin with, since Derik's name was only formed from people talking, which means that before they were created, it was literally Notch vs. Devil, which is a rather drab line.

    The writing portions from different perspectives is a nice technique, but it would be good if you were careful to not try and just write the same events over and over from different perspectives and instead use perspectives to move the story along at a good pace,
    Posted in: Literature
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    posted a message on Crafter's Mark
    Interesting return, although I'm a bit uncertain of the details of what happened? You have something in store for that?
    Posted in: Literature
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    posted a message on [MINECRAFT NOVEL] Miner's Eternity {LONG READ}
    Sorry, sorry, I'm not too attentive to the Fan Art page anymore. It's best to catch my attention with a quote or, as you've found out, a PM.

    No, I don't think it'll be a problem, especially if you think that your revamped version might not even follow along with the Diary.
    Posted in: Literature
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    posted a message on [MINECRAFT NOVEL] Miner's Eternity {LONG READ}
    Quote from Dragonchampion

    Sorry for the wait, I want this rewrite to be good, so it's taking a bit. ^^;

    Totally chill, no rush. We can wait.
    Posted in: Literature
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    posted a message on [1.2.5] Muserae's Tweaks
    Wow, was pretty sure that I did look over this thread a long time ago. Maybe I really am blind or you really upped it. O_o
    I'll be sure to visit this thread again when you update, Muse, I could definitely use a few of these tweaks.
    Posted in: Minecraft Mods
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    posted a message on Consumption
    Quote from Tehpillowstar

    Yay, you're back to writing!

    Amazing chapter. I love the political commentary on this forum. It's almost like Full of Stars!

    I wouldn't quite say I'm back to writing, but it's nice to know that I can still output something without too much of a fuss. Didn't put as much thought into it as others. O_o

    Yes, I would probably be lying if the concept didn't come from there. The idea of the story itself seems to be always changing and the one I took for this little thing appears to be my overall frustration at the change from the little interlocked community to just a fad that everybody jumps on and don't stay for.
    Posted in: Literature
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    posted a message on Consumption
    Chapter 1

    I stood a distance away from the entrance, observing what had transpired from the recent years. The little niche had indeed grown, it was many times larger than it was before, when it had first been born. A quick guess put it at around ninety times larger. However, it wasn't any sort of evolution. The old was merely swept aside into the corners and replaced with the new. Sometimes part of the old was scavenged and put to use in newer introductions. Those would always surface every once in a while but never stay for too long. That was the thing about this place. Nothing lasted.

    Rays of light beat down upon my body and forced me to wish for shelter from the sun, but I had to know if certain olden objects had resurfaced. As I closed my eyes, I began to bring about the lies I had constructed, breathing them in, transferring them through my system. The tension started to take hold and after opening my eyes, my vision seemed to be a little wavy. I glanced back to where I had come from, a new sharpness in my gaze, and kept a few memories in my mind as I headed under the little arch.

    The first thing I noticed was the vast quantity of shops set up around the place. The little tents that had existed long ago were gone. The place was now a bazaar. You could see how shoddily everything around was made, as if they could be broken down and swept away in a minute or less. I clenched my teeth, rather involuntarily, as a response to a sudden flash of anger. It pounded in my head and I had to pause before continuing. Thankfully, this place never quite went as far as having people go out and pursue people to bring back to whatever they had.

    I continued down the alleys and roads, looking around for both promising new things and old things I recognized. As I turned around a corner, a sense of familiarity hit me, despite it appearing to be a dead end. Giving a look around, I seized this feeling and strode over to the end. It was almost overwhelming at this point, and I struggled to bring my arm up and reach to touch the wall. My skin crawled and my trembling hand made contact.

    Red and blue strands twisted out and enveloped me before swiftly retracting back into the wall. With me.

    Consumed.


    Chapter 2

    I could see so much. The strands, they were like chains, but at the same time, they freed me. They freed me from my curiosity and left me with visions. I saw the tents I knew so well destroyed by a monster invasion. Creepers, zombies, spiders, and skeletons, just bursting in as an unstoppable wave of death. And then the attackers crumbled to dust. The tents never came back. What arose from the ashes were merely cheap imitations. These had always existed before, but they were not as prominent. And then my vision moves forward.

    It’s the present. The shops I just saw, with their weak structures, both individually and as a whole. Boom, the strands are dragging me forward through time. The shops are swept away into the corners and new things rise up to replace them.

    Brothels, full of corruption. People walk in and are scammed, thrown out with nothing left to their names. It’s like a gang has taken over. But even they cannot last in this place. Time accelerates and they are cast aside, like everything else. My vision keeps moving on into the future and nothing lasts. In that sense, nothing has changed.

    This place is an eternal wasteland. Everything is consumed, with little crumbs here and there being the only evidence of things long gone.
    Posted in: Literature
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    posted a message on [MINECRAFT NOVEL] Miner's Eternity {LONG READ}
    I guess I'll jump back on the wagon in case you do end up deciding to write/rewrite. Especially since I'm already late. o_O
    A late welcome back, Dragonchampion.
    Posted in: Literature
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