• 1

    posted a message on Why am I only getting 5 fps
    Did you try setting it to Wumbo?
    Posted in: Survival Mode
  • 4

    posted a message on Cookies, overpowered food.
    >cookies overpowered

    Who gives a damn? It's not hurting you any if someone else is eating cookies for sustenance. And if you personally think cookies make the game too easy, don't use them. Simple.
    Posted in: Survival Mode
  • 1

    posted a message on Rotated Logs FUUUUUU- D: D: D: D: MOOOO
    I don't want to get used to a new mechanic. Mojang should just spend a few hours coding in something just for my selfish convenience, when pretty much everyone else in the community is just coping with the changes.

    /sarcasm

    Just deal with it. Sooner or later you'll get used to the change.
    Posted in: Survival Mode
  • 1

    posted a message on I'm the best Minecrafter ever
    Quote from _Rublix_

    You sir, are not the best minecrafter ever... you are the minecraft god. your level of epic building skillz are greater that notch's. (jeb doesn't know how to build anything.) you should submit this to Curse, then maybe they can spotlight this work of art!


    I've already emailed the image to Notch, Jeb, the Curse CEO, Santa Claus, Jesus, the Nobel Prize committee and Barrack Obama.
    Posted in: Survival Mode
  • 1

    posted a message on Ideas for 1.3 - Help!
    I've been playing Minecraft on and off for over a year. Like you, I put it off until 1.3. Currently I'm playing the pre-release.

    I'm gonna build a series of epic structures and have them linked up through a sub-space teleportation hub in the Nether. And I'll probably build some secret ruins and hide treasure in them too.

    All the while I'll document everything in books and put them in a library somewhere.

    To keep the game difficult, I've limited myself to one piece of non-leather armor and I'll play on Hard mode constantly. In order to avoid a variety of available resources, I'm playing in the Large Biome worldtype.

    I don't foresee myself getting bored of this for a long time.
    Posted in: Survival Mode
  • 1

    posted a message on I'm the best Minecrafter ever
    Quote from yoshidude56

    I'm sorry, but I must challenge your authority as greatest minecraft ever. I placed a sand block. On HARDCORE. Impressive, isn't it? Where would one get such a rare block without being blown up, eaten, or shot and killed permanently? I had to wander through caves, dodging fireballs and arrows, punching zombies, and running from creepers to find the block. When I finally did, I jumped for joy and ran back out of the cave to place it on the beach. Nobody has ever done something so impressive.

    What? You say you need proof?







    Is that a surface sand vein over there? Holy **** dude that's the best world ever. What's the seed?
    Posted in: Survival Mode
  • 1

    posted a message on Every Complaint Thread Countered in a Single Post
    Quote from RAcaseal
    Basically if a feature is widely deemed useless by the community then the time spent developing said feature could have been used making something more practical that will actually get a use.


    The "don't like it don't use it" argument is tried and true.
    Name a single feature in Minecraft that is WIDELY ignored because people don't like it. The only one that I can think of is enchanting; but it was ignored because it was tedious not because it wasn't a good feature.

    I await your response.
    Posted in: Recent Updates and Snapshots
  • 53

    posted a message on I'm the best Minecrafter ever
    Quote from Vekh

    I almost fainted from shock when I saw that legendary work of art. It has to be the second most amazing piece of architecture I've ever seen.

    However, I believe my beautiful creation wins first prize. I spent days on it, entire days.



    I bet you used hacks to make that. There's no way that's legit.
    Posted in: Survival Mode
  • 118

    posted a message on I'm the best Minecrafter ever
    Yeah, I don't mean to brag...

    But I think I might be the best Minecraft player who ever lived. Just check out this amazing work of advanced architecture.



    This impenetrable shelter was assembled in just the first day. Hard to believe, isn't it?

    It features walls made out of solid dirt; very eco-friendly. They also make great insulation against the cold. After all, I did build it out in the frozen plains. The foundation is made out of sand in order to resist flash floods. I figure when the snow thaws all that water's gonna have to go somewhere. You gotta adapt to the weather. It takes a good Minecrafter to prepare for the elements.

    The entrance is protected by the most dangerous of roses. I dare you or any creeper to just run right through them. You're bound to get stabbed by the thorns. Hopefully they realize this and decide to stay away. Otherwise I'll have to clean creeper blood off of my front porch every morning.



    The house also has a skylight so I can get cheap lighting inside during the day and admire the stars at night. And yes- that IS real wool in the ceiling. My original plans called for unobtanium to be used in the construction of those parts of the ceiling, but since Notch hasn't added it to the game yet I figured wool would do.



    I cleverly built it right next to a cave. That way, I have somewhere to hide in case of a tornado or nuclear strike. It will also prove to be an easy source of resources once I can figure out how to make a pickaxe.

    Anyway, that's my fortress. You jealous? I would be. I dare you to post your creations. None of them are cooler than mine.

    Hopefully once Notch sees thread this he'll give me a cape and about 126,665.00 zimbabwean dollars. I deserve no less.
    Posted in: Survival Mode
  • 23

    posted a message on Every Complaint Thread Countered in a Single Post
    WARNING: this post contains rudeness and excessive swearing. If your ego bruises easily or if your mother wouldn't like you to read swear words on the internet, get the **** out now before I rustle your precious jimmies into a whirlwind of logically-induced mad.

    If you have been referred to this thread by someone else with a number, go click on that number to reveal the response they have deemed appropriate to your post. If you haven't been referred, I could give a **** what you do from this point on.

    Response 1



    You: "I'm not updating because _____"

    Nobody gives a ****. You will not be missed. You don't even deserve a counter-argument to validate your already meaningless opinion.


    Response 2

    You: "What? They're merging SMP and SSP? WTF. Now I get all the SMP glitches and lag"

    Learn to read changelogs, you ignorant ****. Most of those SMP glitches have been fixed. Most of them you didn't even KNOW about. As for lag- there shouldn't be any at all. The server is running on YOUR computer, meaning response time is instant. If you play SMP on a server elsewhere, your computer has to actually send information and receive a response. lrn2technology and you won't make false assumptions about the SMP engine being inherently laggy.

    Response 3
    You: "My performance is bad with the new patch!"

    Chances are it's because your computer is a piece-of-**** HP Compaq desktop from 2001. But I suppose that's Mojang's fault, right? On the off-chance your computer isn't something that belongs in a museum, perhaps you forgot to turn off the Snooper- when it sends info you may experience a lag spike.

    Response 4
    You: "The new enchantment system is worse than the old one!"

    Perhaps you mean to say now it's actually ****ING MANAGEABLE. The old broken **** system required hours of toil building mob grinders and even more hours of idling just to get to level 50. And then it took 25 minutes of spamming your right click button until the option to enchant at 50 even appeared. In fact, enchanting was so difficult that it wasn't even worth it to enchant things. Now that getting nice enchantments is easier, it's suddenly worse? Upset that you having an Efficiency IV pick isn't "special" anymore? Are you pissed off that suddenly you're not the only one capable of dominating under-protected players with a Sharpness IV sword on that shitty PvP server you play on? Cry some more. It's not like anyone actually thought you were a good player for having a few lucky enchantments. All you did was build a grinder and waste hours of your life in front of it.

    Response 5
    "Jeb is such a ****; he doesn't listen to the community"

    Translation: Boo hoo Jeb didn't add my suggestion to 1.3. We really needed to a add <insert pointless ******** feature> because that would have improved Minecraft so much! Golly, I'm butthurt.

    Response 6

    "The new _____________ feature makes the game too easy."

    That shouldn't matter unless you actually plan on using it. Otherwise you're complaining that someone else is having an easier time getting resources than you. And if that's the case, why do you even give a ****? If you only play alone, then there's no competition. If you play with a few friends, challenge them not to use the new feature that's making the game easier. If they're your friends they'll probably agree. If you play on competitive SMP servers, then **** you. Not once, but twice- **** you. One **** you for playing competitive SMP and another **** you for your complaint not being valid. If it's making it easier for them it's making it easier for you, so nobody has an unfair advantage.

    Response 7

    "The creeper buff makes the game too hard."

    Turn the difficulty down then, you stupid ****. They don't kill you in one hit if you aren't on Hard- unless you don't pay attention when walking through dangerous areas- and in that case you don't deserve to survive a creeper encounter on ANY difficulty.

    Response 8


    You: "I miss the old terrain generation."

    Hoo boy. You don't even belong in the recent updates section. Terrain generation changed 9 months ago. If huffing the stale farts of self-induced nostalgia is all that sustains you anymore, worry not. A mod exists to bring back that which you cling to: the past.


    You: "It's just not the same. It will never feel the same again."

    So shut the **** up then. You can literally have your cake AND eat it too- and that's not enough?

    Credit to BoonvtM for being a scapegoat:

    If someone makes a stupid post containing one or more of the following complaints and you feel too lazy or too mild-mannered to write an unkind response, link them here and tell them to read a pre-selected response(s). I'll be rude FOR you and you can save your time.

    And if I missed a complaint and its matching response, write one for me. I'll include it. Don't forget to swear; but most of all don't forget to be correct.

    Feel free to tell me I'm wrong in my reasoning if you wish; it's not like it will change my opinion. But it might change a response.

    -Blind
    Posted in: Recent Updates and Snapshots
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