The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Location:
Edmonton
Join Date:
12/27/2015
Posts:
178
Location:
Alberta, Canada
Minecraft:
Crafty Minecraft
Xbox:
Red II Bunny
Member Details
So I am trying out this thing where I write the beginning of the story, and then ask people to vote for which ending they would like. Does anyone know of any good Minecraft fan fiction websites I could post this on or get some feedback?
Also I'm gonna include the story below because I need more votes! so far I only have one person whose chosen which ending they would like. If you like the story please vote in the comments on the YT vid for which ending you want to hear. Thank you
Minecraft Fan Fiction - Pick the Ending! - Molly's Choice
There were quiet whispers spreading throughout the village as everyone watches the spectacle that had become Molly and her moms argument. “there’s something wrong with that girl if you ask me” the neighbour Blacksmith said to the local Butcher.
“Molly, don’t get so upset!” Joan the Librarian calls after her daughter, a note of exasperation in her voice. Pissed off she isn’t allowed to farm because she’s meant to mind the books, Molly takes off into the woods, running at full speed. She’s not even looking at her surroundings, but letting the oaks, spruces and harmless wolves pass her by without noticing a thing. She just keeps going, in anger, thinking, “I can farm just as good as anybody with a brown jacket”
Her arms waving furiously by her side as she fumes, blowing off steam by getting as far away as she can from the heat. She didn’t realize how far she had gone until she stumbles over the side of a mountain, falling into swampy waters. Looking up she finds herself only a few blocks away from a witches hut, but it looks quite, like no one is home.
She felt for her trusty iron sword before climbing up the latter and into the hut. She is well equipped, wearing Iron Armour inherited from her late father. She had never taken on a witch before, but her anger made her feel bold enough to risk it. She isn’t going back tonight, her mother can worry all she likes. She’ll figure out a way to do what she wants. Just because she is born with a white coat doesn’t mean she is a Librarian. “Books??” she thought, “bleck!”
When she enters the Hut and realizes that nobody is home, she relaxes a little and starts to feel more comfortable. She would be able to surprise the Witch when it did arrive, and that would give Molly the advantage. She laid out her bed even though she did not plan on using it. She wonders to herself if she is far enough away from her village so that everyone could go to sleep without her. She even wonders, am I gonna be able to find my way back?
She really didn’t have much time to think before she heard the wood outside the door creek and it opened, revealing the witch who lived here. Responding on instinct, Molly immediately starts attacking the witch with her iron sword. The witch is caught off guard, and stumbles before she yells, “Stop, Please, I can help you! I’ll grant you any wish if you spare my life…”
You Pick the Ending:
Romance Ending - Molly asks for a love potion and uses it on Holden, a farmer and her crush. They get married and Molly gets to fulfill her lifelong dream of being a farmer by helping Holden and his parents out with their work. Except one day Holden’s mother shows Molly how to bake a cake and its all downhill from there. Molly becomes obsessed with cake. She can’t stop eating it, every day, all day. Now all of the resources they get from farming goes to supporting Molly’s addiction. Will she be able to pull through and curb her bad habit or will it take everything for cake?
Mystery Ending - Molly chooses to ask the witch to transport her far far away, where she doesn’t feel like a regular villager. When Molly goes missing her mother is worried sick. She hires Roxy, a offbeat, self professed detective. She is sure Roxy will be able to find her. That her and Molly are “both weirdos” is reassurance enough. Since they have it in common, she is sure Roxy will succeed in bringing her daughter home. When Roxy confronts the Witch, however, she’s forced to uncover clues and answers that make the search for Molly more difficult than anticipated.
Action & Adventure Ending - It was on impulse that she chose Elytra wings as her wish, but Molly sure is happy she did. Flying from mountain top to mountain top. Seeing so much of the world and from above. Nobody in her village had ever travelled as far as her. Except one day, on another impulse, she saw a crack in the side of a mountain. Molly dives in and before she knows it she is surrounded by a pink light, disorienting her. When she comes to her senses she’s in a new, dark world. Skeleton’s like she’d never seen before, attack her. Except instead of harming her, they each grab her by the arm and drag her off. Do you want to know to where?
check out my Minecraft Website where I post the latest seeds for Minecraft Better Together and the Xbox One Edition, as well as some build ideas www.tanishascraft.com
I'd vote for the romance ending just because of how freakin weird it is. No story ever ends that way! Second choice would be for the mystery ending, as it has the most potential.
Also your writing is colorful and easy to follow but you have a huge problem with tense. You keep mixing past and present tense. Probably stick to past tense, which is normal for third person stories. For example, "There WERE (past tense) quiet whispers spreading throughout the village as everyone WATCHES (present tense) the spectacle that HAD (past tense) become Molly and her moms argument."
The easiest and most sensible solution for this is to change watches to watched. Check through each sentence and look at each verb. If it ends in "s" or "es" then it should probably end with an "ed" instead.
The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Location:
Edmonton
Join Date:
12/27/2015
Posts:
178
Location:
Alberta, Canada
Minecraft:
Crafty Minecraft
Xbox:
Red II Bunny
Member Details
Hey thanks for your comments! I had the idea for the romance ending and I was all over it! I think at first I was thinking cake and then it came to me! haha. I would love for that one to be picked!
As for my grammar etc, I really try to edit it and be all present tense. I'm just not so good yet at that, and I really didn't spend to much time editing before I published this vid. I appreciate the suggestions though! Its something that I can work on with my writing for sure. I try to be consistent when i'm actually writing so I don't have to edit to much, but then again when i'm in the flow I also don't like to stop to edit. So I end up with a bit of a mess sometimes! I'm glad you think it is easy to follow though!
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My name is Tanisha Eileen I love gaming, dogs, and the pursuit of happiness.
check out my Minecraft Website where I post the latest seeds for Minecraft Better Together and the Xbox One Edition, as well as some build ideas www.tanishascraft.com
So I am trying out this thing where I write the beginning of the story, and then ask people to vote for which ending they would like. Does anyone know of any good Minecraft fan fiction websites I could post this on or get some feedback?
Also I'm gonna include the story below because I need more votes! so far I only have one person whose chosen which ending they would like. If you like the story please vote in the comments on the YT vid for which ending you want to hear. Thank you
Minecraft Fan Fiction - Pick the Ending! - Molly's Choice
There were quiet whispers spreading throughout the village as everyone watches the spectacle that had become Molly and her moms argument. “there’s something wrong with that girl if you ask me” the neighbour Blacksmith said to the local Butcher.
“Molly, don’t get so upset!” Joan the Librarian calls after her daughter, a note of exasperation in her voice. Pissed off she isn’t allowed to farm because she’s meant to mind the books, Molly takes off into the woods, running at full speed. She’s not even looking at her surroundings, but letting the oaks, spruces and harmless wolves pass her by without noticing a thing. She just keeps going, in anger, thinking, “I can farm just as good as anybody with a brown jacket”
Her arms waving furiously by her side as she fumes, blowing off steam by getting as far away as she can from the heat. She didn’t realize how far she had gone until she stumbles over the side of a mountain, falling into swampy waters. Looking up she finds herself only a few blocks away from a witches hut, but it looks quite, like no one is home.
She felt for her trusty iron sword before climbing up the latter and into the hut. She is well equipped, wearing Iron Armour inherited from her late father. She had never taken on a witch before, but her anger made her feel bold enough to risk it. She isn’t going back tonight, her mother can worry all she likes. She’ll figure out a way to do what she wants. Just because she is born with a white coat doesn’t mean she is a Librarian. “Books??” she thought, “bleck!”
When she enters the Hut and realizes that nobody is home, she relaxes a little and starts to feel more comfortable. She would be able to surprise the Witch when it did arrive, and that would give Molly the advantage. She laid out her bed even though she did not plan on using it. She wonders to herself if she is far enough away from her village so that everyone could go to sleep without her. She even wonders, am I gonna be able to find my way back?
She really didn’t have much time to think before she heard the wood outside the door creek and it opened, revealing the witch who lived here. Responding on instinct, Molly immediately starts attacking the witch with her iron sword. The witch is caught off guard, and stumbles before she yells, “Stop, Please, I can help you! I’ll grant you any wish if you spare my life…”
You Pick the Ending:
Romance Ending - Molly asks for a love potion and uses it on Holden, a farmer and her crush. They get married and Molly gets to fulfill her lifelong dream of being a farmer by helping Holden and his parents out with their work. Except one day Holden’s mother shows Molly how to bake a cake and its all downhill from there. Molly becomes obsessed with cake. She can’t stop eating it, every day, all day. Now all of the resources they get from farming goes to supporting Molly’s addiction. Will she be able to pull through and curb her bad habit or will it take everything for cake?
Mystery Ending - Molly chooses to ask the witch to transport her far far away, where she doesn’t feel like a regular villager. When Molly goes missing her mother is worried sick. She hires Roxy, a offbeat, self professed detective. She is sure Roxy will be able to find her. That her and Molly are “both weirdos” is reassurance enough. Since they have it in common, she is sure Roxy will succeed in bringing her daughter home. When Roxy confronts the Witch, however, she’s forced to uncover clues and answers that make the search for Molly more difficult than anticipated.
Action & Adventure Ending - It was on impulse that she chose Elytra wings as her wish, but Molly sure is happy she did. Flying from mountain top to mountain top. Seeing so much of the world and from above. Nobody in her village had ever travelled as far as her. Except one day, on another impulse, she saw a crack in the side of a mountain. Molly dives in and before she knows it she is surrounded by a pink light, disorienting her. When she comes to her senses she’s in a new, dark world. Skeleton’s like she’d never seen before, attack her. Except instead of harming her, they each grab her by the arm and drag her off. Do you want to know to where?
I'd vote for the romance ending just because of how freakin weird it is. No story ever ends that way! Second choice would be for the mystery ending, as it has the most potential.
Also your writing is colorful and easy to follow but you have a huge problem with tense. You keep mixing past and present tense. Probably stick to past tense, which is normal for third person stories. For example, "There WERE (past tense) quiet whispers spreading throughout the village as everyone WATCHES (present tense) the spectacle that HAD (past tense) become Molly and her moms argument."
The easiest and most sensible solution for this is to change watches to watched. Check through each sentence and look at each verb. If it ends in "s" or "es" then it should probably end with an "ed" instead.
Gimme
Hey thanks for your comments! I had the idea for the romance ending and I was all over it! I think at first I was thinking cake and then it came to me! haha. I would love for that one to be picked!
As for my grammar etc, I really try to edit it and be all present tense. I'm just not so good yet at that, and I really didn't spend to much time editing before I published this vid. I appreciate the suggestions though! Its something that I can work on with my writing for sure. I try to be consistent when i'm actually writing so I don't have to edit to much, but then again when i'm in the flow I also don't like to stop to edit. So I end up with a bit of a mess sometimes! I'm glad you think it is easy to follow though!