The Meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything.
Location:
Herobrine
Join Date:
5/26/2017
Posts:
60
Location:
Herobrine, of course!
Member Details
Hello.
after reading a lot of minecraft fanfictions, I decided to make my own, and (hopefully) I will add new chapter at least one per week. Hopefully I'll be more
This story is about Herobrine (No, not that creepy horror), which is on a research to find the cause of global anomalies. He will battle his way to find and stop them, meet various enemies and friends, various magics, techs and secrets, and eventually found the true enemies of minecraft, and the whole world will know that Herobrine is the false villain, and the true hero.
Your first chapter has lots of action in it, and it also has some good descriptive language. I had some trouble following what was going on, though. I think the main reasons for this were: (1) the tense changes a lot; and (2) I don't have much context for the battle scenes. Perhaps you could go through the specific language and make the tenses more consistent. That would add to the readability. I would also suggest adding some information on how the characters find themselves at this point.
Your first chapter has lots of action in it, and it also has some good descriptive language. I had some trouble following what was going on, though. I think the main reasons for this were: (1) the tense changes a lot; and (2) I don't have much context for the battle scenes. Perhaps you could go through the specific language and make the tenses more consistent. That would add to the readability. I would also suggest adding some information on how the characters find themselves at this point.
Thanks for your review! now, I'm active again, and the second chapter has been released! about your trouble following what was going on, yeah I also have that problem because the first chap is very action-intense, which was inspired from a minecraft animation battle. for the tense change, that's because i couldn't find the good way to describe what was going on, and mostly because grammatical errors. and yeah, the story is much a mystery for this time. and the Herobrine himself is supposed to be mysterious. I hope you read the second chapter
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Peace~
Remake and extension: Action-packed fantasy adventure fanfic --> It Was a CreepeREMAKE
Entity 42: The Life, The Universe, And, Everything. Maybe even another Entity 42.
Hello.
after reading a lot of minecraft fanfictions, I decided to make my own, and (hopefully) I will add new chapter at least one per week. Hopefully I'll be more
This story is about Herobrine (No, not that creepy horror), which is on a research to find the cause of global anomalies. He will battle his way to find and stop them, meet various enemies and friends, various magics, techs and secrets, and eventually found the true enemies of minecraft, and the whole world will know that Herobrine is the false villain, and the true hero.
here is it -> Herobrine: The Unreals
please criticize, suggest or point out any errors.
hope you like it!
Remake and extension: Action-packed fantasy adventure fanfic --> It Was a CreepeREMAKE
Entity 42: The Life, The Universe, And, Everything. Maybe even another Entity 42.
Your first chapter has lots of action in it, and it also has some good descriptive language. I had some trouble following what was going on, though. I think the main reasons for this were: (1) the tense changes a lot; and (2) I don't have much context for the battle scenes. Perhaps you could go through the specific language and make the tenses more consistent. That would add to the readability. I would also suggest adding some information on how the characters find themselves at this point.
Thanks for your review! now, I'm active again, and the second chapter has been released! about your trouble following what was going on, yeah I also have that problem because the first chap is very action-intense, which was inspired from a minecraft animation battle. for the tense change, that's because i couldn't find the good way to describe what was going on, and mostly because grammatical errors. and yeah, the story is much a mystery for this time. and the Herobrine himself is supposed to be mysterious. I hope you read the second chapter
Remake and extension: Action-packed fantasy adventure fanfic --> It Was a CreepeREMAKE
Entity 42: The Life, The Universe, And, Everything. Maybe even another Entity 42.
Herobrine is creepy
You wrong