"Eh, i'm sure that part was optional"
"Oh gosh! The bacon is over cooking! *splashes it in the sink*"
"*going skydiving* Yeah! i bought this parachute myself, it was half off!"
"What if i combined ammonia and bleach to make one super cleaner!"
"Somethings stuck in the electrical outlet, hmm i guess this fork will do"
*taking a bath* "Hey can you hand me that hairdryer?"
"Hey look, i found some berries!"
"I regret NOTHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG......."
Hilarious stuff, you should consider a role in stand up comedy if for nothing more than to give us an opportunity to throw stuff at you in person
"Oh gosh! The bacon is over cooking! *splashes it in the sink*"
"*going skydiving* Yeah! i bought this parachute myself, it was half off!"
"What if i combined ammonia and bleach to make one super cleaner!"
"Somethings stuck in the electrical outlet, hmm i guess this fork will do"
*taking a bath* "Hey can you hand me that hairdryer?"
"Hey look, i found some berries!"
-You guessed it,Jack Daniel
"Useless...useless..."
-John Wilkes Booth
"Hello"
-Graham Chapman
"Kurt Russel"
-Walt Disney,wrote on a piece of paper. No one still knows what he meant by "Kurt Russel",not even Kurt Russel,who was 15.
"Ow F-ck!"
-Roald Dahl
"That picture is awful dusty"
-Jesse James,who,when he turned around to dust a picture,was shot in the back of the head by a gang member.
"Is it the Fourth?"
-Thomas Jefferson
That's all I got and here is the SOURCE
From what I learned Anne Frank got a disease (typhus i suppose) in the death camp but were actually not exterminated in the chamber itself
It's not my fault
-Idiots
Probably the most gruesome video online is of his suicide.
- Random Psycho
"Right this way Miss Lewinsky"
some annoying musician
"I left a million dollars in my-" *Dies*
And who are you, the proud lord said, that I must bow so low?
Only a cat of a different coat, that's all the truth I know.
In a coat of gold or a coat of red, a lion still has claws,
And mine are long and sharp, my lord, as long and sharp as yours.
And so he spoke, and so he spoke, that lord of Castamere,
But now the rains weep o'er his hall, with no one there to hear.
Yes now the rains weep o'er his hall, and not a soul to hear.