I seem like a calm guy in real life and on the internet, but I tend to internalize my anger. Unfortunately, I can't hold it in forever. Every once in a while, I lash out at people for the most minor of things, like moving my car so someone else can get in the driveway. I know it's not okay, but I'm trying hard to fix it.
Quite honestly, I don't find death itself all that sad or scary. I'm not suicidal, or anything, but considering all the crap I put up with in real life, death will be kind of a relief.
I have absence epilepsy, but I don't get meds for it, because my dad believes in homeopathy, and forces it on me.
I never stand up to him, given that I always hate asking adults for things, it just makes me feel awkward to do things like that.
I have an extremely dysfunctional family, and I socially isolate myself to get away from them.
I'm an atheist, but I've never told my family, for fear of being judged. What makes this so dumb, is that my family isn't religious.
Throughout my life, I've been abused by my "friends", and I think that that played a role in my crippling fear of humiliation today.
1) My friends are slowly drifting away because they're becoming adults. They've all gone through a lot of stress lately and I rarely have anyone to calm me down from going into little mini anxiety attacks. Let alone anyone to talk to. It feels awkward stumbling around without a guide like an older person.
2) I have no clue what to think about anything spiritual. I used to be an agnostic-atheist and after seeing some things... I honestly don't know what to believe anymore. I'm still recovering from the stress and anxiety and my recent break-up hasn't helped at all. I just wish my life wasn't a constant roller-coaster.
3) I can't wait for school to start.
1. I'm a Kinist. :/ I don't really feel bad about it, because at the same time I'm not a racist, but being a Kinist is kinda taboo in most Christian circles.
2. Adam Levine makes me want to punch him in the face.
3. I find young children's television programs disturbing.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
'Either live for something, or die for nothing' 'If all discrimination is wrong, then don't judge my beliefs. Otherwise, shutup'
;Stallone referring to atheists. ;Me to some gay sympathizer last week
Melatonin and milk. These prime your system for sleep chemically. Have an active day life. This will tire you out and make your body say 'Gee, I'm tired'.
5) Due to my genetics, I am, well, thin. This leads to persistent judgement from some idiots in my school. Once someone went too far and I ended up shoving them into a river. This also means I tend to stay away from public swimming areas and water parks.
You're what the gym rats call a 'hardgainer', like me. You have a high metabolism. You are unlikely to ever become obese, but you also probably look like Old Man Jenkin's scarecrow. Lots of people try to just eat alot, but that just makes you look worse by putting a layer of fat over an already-unimpressive body. My advice? Stay away from distance running and jogging, eat nutritious foods with high protein, and do pushups(triceps, chest), crunches/planks (abs), squats (glutes, legs), and sprints (to pull it all together). You could go all-out and get a weight bench, but if it's just looks you're going for, stick with bodyweight exercises.
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
'Either live for something, or die for nothing' 'If all discrimination is wrong, then don't judge my beliefs. Otherwise, shutup'
;Stallone referring to atheists. ;Me to some gay sympathizer last week
Government Sucks.
My Survival Journal
2) I have no clue what to think about anything spiritual. I used to be an agnostic-atheist and after seeing some things... I honestly don't know what to believe anymore. I'm still recovering from the stress and anxiety and my recent break-up hasn't helped at all. I just wish my life wasn't a constant roller-coaster.
3) I can't wait for school to start.
2. Adam Levine makes me want to punch him in the face.
3. I find young children's television programs disturbing.
;Stallone referring to atheists. ;Me to some gay sympathizer last week
You're what the gym rats call a 'hardgainer', like me. You have a high metabolism. You are unlikely to ever become obese, but you also probably look like Old Man Jenkin's scarecrow. Lots of people try to just eat alot, but that just makes you look worse by putting a layer of fat over an already-unimpressive body. My advice? Stay away from distance running and jogging, eat nutritious foods with high protein, and do pushups(triceps, chest), crunches/planks (abs), squats (glutes, legs), and sprints (to pull it all together). You could go all-out and get a weight bench, but if it's just looks you're going for, stick with bodyweight exercises.
;Stallone referring to atheists. ;Me to some gay sympathizer last week