oh, you didn't like the history? I thought you just hated that I put 2 applications. and I didn't mean it as he is the best, I didn't want to make a story for every single battle so I put a couple where he wins/
As a Child, Peter was always trying to be the top of his class in everything in his academy: Archery, sword dual-ling, hand-to-hand combat, even in his intellect. Peter always strives to be perfect in everything, since he came from a poor family, he needed all those skills to make money for his family. Once Peter was strong enough, he tried became a holy knight apprentice, but didn't make it the first couple times, from there he kept trying to get stronger and stronger until he tried to become a holy knight apprentice and succeeded. After 3 years of being a Holy knight apprentice, his parents were killed by a group of bandits. Peter was enraged by the incident, and killed each and every bandit, until everyone who was linked to his parents death were killed. He was sentenced to 10 years of imprisonment, after he was released, the king relieved him of his title of a holy knight apprentice. Outraged, he left (Insert place where he was here) and went to (Insert place with the sins here) and tried to become a Holy Knight again, and succeeded. He became a Holy Knight in such a low amount of time, he was offered to become a Sin, and so he did.
I bold the big things I changed, but it would make a lot more sense if you read the whole thing again
oh, you didn't like the history? I thought you just hated that I put 2 applications. and I didn't mean it as he is the best, I didn't want to make a story for every single battle so I put a couple where he wins/
How About this:
History:
As a Child, Peter was always trying to be the top of his class in everything in his academy: Archery, sword dual-ling, hand-to-hand combat, even in his intellect. Peter always strives to be perfect in everything, since he came from a poor family, he needed all those skills to make money for his family. Once Peter was strong enough, he tried became a holy knight apprentice, but didn't make it the first couple times, from there he kept trying to get stronger and stronger until he tried to become a holy knight apprentice and succeeded. After 3 years of being a Holy knight apprentice, his parents were killed by a group of bandits. Peter was enraged by the incident, and killed each and every bandit, until everyone who was linked to his parents death were killed. He was sentenced to 10 years of imprisonment, after he was released, the king relieved him of his title of a holy knight apprentice. Outraged, he left (Insert place where he was here) and went to (Insert place with the sins here) and tried to become a Holy Knight again, and succeeded. He became a Holy Knight in such a low amount of time, he was offered to become a Sin, and so he did.
I bold the big things I changed, but it would make a lot more sense if you read the whole thing again