Anyways, as a recently converted member of our team, you have valuable info. I, though, just want to know the geography of the land around the Tower.
Also, I must assign you a job. I'll start you off as head coffeemaker. You'll eventually get promoted, but for now, I just want to make sure you're not a mole or anything, okay?
Coffeemaker is actually an important job. We, as a group, must work for long stretches without breaks. And oftentimes, at night. In fact, CGPGrey has a video on the benefits of coffee:
Meanwhile, we start the production of robot squirrels that throw explosive acorns.
Besides that, I've got good news, bad news, and horrible news.
The good news is that Millbee has finished his assignment of collecting Pokemon, and now we are constructing the world's largest Pokemon Daycare to train them all.
The bad news is that Kurt sent ten missions to retrieve the Ink Bottles. They've all ended horribly.
The horrible news is that Baj has also returned. He still has his naked skin on.
Excellent, Lasko. Because of your innovation, productivity has increased by 25%. Exporting coffee and coffee mugs has also become a major source of revenue.
I was going to assign you to something else, but since you're so good at your job, I'm going to give you a pay raise instead.
Meanwhile, at the Attackers' Space Program Headquaters...
Me: "Kurt, it's okay. Lasko's on our side now."
Kurt: "Well dang it! I just killed like a hundred Kerbonauts in the process!"
Oh, and you still haven't informed me on the Tower's geography. I just want to know if the Tower is by the ocean.
To the west of the tower is a beach; obviously it's near the ocean. To the east there's a mountain range. To the south is a large forest. To the north is a gravel path to a nearby Testificate village.
There's a lot of ways to attack this! Spies planting bombs, by air, by sea...
Also, don't worry Kurt, the Kerbin Brothers (Bill, Bob, and Jebediah) are still alive!
I keep on making coffee.
Also, I hire those merchants, I'm really running out of ink here. They can also sell bombs.
Thanks for the geographical info! Now where are those recon pilots?
The terrible thing about the ink situation, though, is that we're stuck in a hole. It was me who made making and possessing ink punishable by death. And now that I am banned from lobbying it back (to counter any OPness I have), I'm just repeatedly facepistoning here.
Then again, I can get around this by launching an ink-manufacturing facility into space. The problem is, it's dead expensive (far more than lobbying world leaders to change it back), and we have Kurt as the head of our space program.
EDIT: Actually, I'm going to place an ink factory in space. I've replaced Kurt with Scott Manly (a YouTuber who plays Kerbal Space Program, but is an actual astrophysicist). Sure, it'll drain my coffers, but will it even matter with the huge amounts of coffee we're exporting? However, it all depends on if the other side of the Earth is within range of the Celestial Brush.
Guh... well, we can make those merchants... I don't know, maybe they can sell fruits or something?
Hmm... well, good news: If those merchants sell fruit, I can steal their ink. Maybe put them in a hole or just use it right away; Spirit Ink instantly disappears upon use.
I keep making coffee. Maybe sell a different brand; one that gives extra strength, dexterity, and speed while fighting. "Joe's Energy Drink". That's a good name.
Also, Mario and Luigi are still beating up the tower with their hammers.
You said that the merchants can make bombs. I've placed them under Etho's command; now they're working at the factory on four hours of sleep (thanks to your coffee/energy drink).
Don't worry; the ink-producing space station should be up by tomorrow. We just have to hide our existing ink from the authorities before then.
And since the rebranded coffee can be sold to idiots at double the price than before, the space station doesn't seem so expensive anymore.
Below is a video that's related to the last sentence. It's Jimmy Kimmel showing Apple fans an iPhone 4S while calling it an iPhone 5. The fans actually think it's the "new and improved" iPhone 5.
I hire Kurt to be a builder, he proceeds to make a building for engineers to make traps. I hire some engineers, and they start making trap ideas. They then make traps around the tower that help attackers, and hinder defenders.
I start using the coffee/energy-drink profits to rush-buy units. (You'll only get it if you're a fan of Civilization [the game] [in my case, Civ IV].)
If you do get it, keep in mind that I am indeed running Universal Suffrage. Supreme Leader is merely a glorified version of mayor. I guess it's similar to the title of the mayor of the City of London - The Right Honourable, The Lord Mayor of London.
Meanwhile, we complete Stage 2 of the Brooklyn Project. Stage 3 is under way.
EDIT: Armada I is complete! It has set sail for the tower, and is expected to come by the next day. Needless to say, it is huge.
Armada I is complete! It has set sail for the tower, and is expected to come by the next day. Needless to say, it is huge.
I ask Poseidon to destroy the armada of ships with a wirlpool or kraken or something. (I have good ties with him since I was able to be allied with the Forces of Nature earlier.)
I ask Poseidon to destroy the armada of ships with a wirlpool or kraken or something. (I have good ties with him since I was able to be allied with the Forces of Nature earlier.)
I blow up the whirlpool/kraken with my torpedoes. You can never have a complete armada without submarines!
Anyways, as a recently converted member of our team, you have valuable info. I, though, just want to know the geography of the land around the Tower.
Also, I must assign you a job. I'll start you off as head coffeemaker. You'll eventually get promoted, but for now, I just want to make sure you're not a mole or anything, okay?
Meanwhile, we start the production of robot squirrels that throw explosive acorns.
= = = = = = = = = =
It's probably going to be finished tomorrow.
Besides that, I've got good news, bad news, and horrible news.
The good news is that Millbee has finished his assignment of collecting Pokemon, and now we are constructing the world's largest Pokemon Daycare to train them all.
The bad news is that Kurt sent ten missions to retrieve the Ink Bottles. They've all ended horribly.
The horrible news is that Baj has also returned. He still has his naked skin on.
I also send Luigi and Mario to hammer the Tower.
I was going to assign you to something else, but since you're so good at your job, I'm going to give you a pay raise instead.
Meanwhile, at the Attackers' Space Program Headquaters...
Me: "Kurt, it's okay. Lasko's on our side now."
Kurt: "Well dang it! I just killed like a hundred Kerbonauts in the process!"
Oh, and you still haven't informed me on the Tower's geography. I just want to know if the Tower is by the ocean.
There's a lot of ways to attack this! Spies planting bombs, by air, by sea...
Also, don't worry Kurt, the Kerbin Brothers (Bill, Bob, and Jebediah) are still alive!
I keep on making coffee.
Also, I hire those merchants, I'm really running out of ink here. They can also sell bombs.
The terrible thing about the ink situation, though, is that we're stuck in a hole. It was me who made making and possessing ink punishable by death. And now that I am banned from lobbying it back (to counter any OPness I have), I'm just repeatedly facepistoning here.
Then again, I can get around this by launching an ink-manufacturing facility into space. The problem is, it's dead expensive (far more than lobbying world leaders to change it back), and we have Kurt as the head of our space program.
EDIT: Actually, I'm going to place an ink factory in space. I've replaced Kurt with Scott Manly (a YouTuber who plays Kerbal Space Program, but is an actual astrophysicist). Sure, it'll drain my coffers, but will it even matter with the huge amounts of coffee we're exporting? However, it all depends on if the other side of the Earth is within range of the Celestial Brush.
Hmm... well, good news: If those merchants sell fruit, I can steal their ink. Maybe put them in a hole or just use it right away; Spirit Ink instantly disappears upon use.
I keep making coffee. Maybe sell a different brand; one that gives extra strength, dexterity, and speed while fighting. "Joe's Energy Drink". That's a good name.
Also, Mario and Luigi are still beating up the tower with their hammers.
Don't worry; the ink-producing space station should be up by tomorrow. We just have to hide our existing ink from the authorities before then.
And since the rebranded coffee can be sold to idiots at double the price than before, the space station doesn't seem so expensive anymore.
RIP: Politics, Philosophy, News, and Science
You were a good section.
I hire Kurt to be a builder, he proceeds to make a building for engineers to make traps. I hire some engineers, and they start making trap ideas. They then make traps around the tower that help attackers, and hinder defenders.
I start using the coffee/energy-drink profits to rush-buy units. (You'll only get it if you're a fan of Civilization [the game] [in my case, Civ IV].)
Meanwhile, we complete Stage 2 of the Brooklyn Project. Stage 3 is under way.
EDIT: Armada I is complete! It has set sail for the tower, and is expected to come by the next day. Needless to say, it is huge.
Complipedia
I ask Poseidon to destroy the armada of ships with a wirlpool or kraken or something. (I have good ties with him since I was able to be allied with the Forces of Nature earlier.)
Complipedia
"I'm writing an essay, rhymes with assay!" - SpongeBob SquarePants.
I blow up the whirlpool/kraken with my torpedoes. You can never have a complete armada without submarines!
ULTIMATE DEFENSE CHARGE:
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