If the kids are all the same age then you can understand how something bad could come of this. People argue, and forget it when kids argue over the Xbox, a war is bound to happen. You should hear the stuff that comes out of their mouth's. But anyways, kids will be kids. This is the same thing that happens in schools all throughout the world (as you pointed out). The host cannot be booted on Xbox, they could have booted him for a number of reasons. So your child might have been in a game doing something that they didn't want to happen, and a boot ensued. Xbox is not suitable for everyone, to be honest your son's best bet is to play with real life friends that he knows, or by himself. Depending on the video games he plays, he will experience A LOT more bullying on different games.
Kicking people out of the game is necessary, like if someone is destroying your stuff. If they didn't want to play with him, they can just boot him and move on. No one needs to explain, like the ratings say "Ratings change for online play".
Remember if they are "teenagers" they will act the part. Bullying is quite consistent in this age group, even if it's online.
Tell your son not to sweat it and move on (early life lesson)
Well, as most of the comments are saying "Lol stupid troll" or "Get PC edition Xbox sucks" I will tell you one thing. They are both right. Lol stupid troll, I do not know your son, but i am sure that unless you and your wife are both trolls, at most he could only be part troll. From the sincerity of your post however, we are forced to believe that if he has any troll blood in him what so ever then it is from your wife. I would also like to say that Xbox does not suck, but PC is better for minecraft. I would look into minecraft Pc for your son, and give your wife the nickname of "Possible troll." Good luck
[sorry if this sounds mean, i am in perfect agreeance. Multiple times i have been banned by my friends and multiple times i have felt bullied. However this is the greatest game, and some of the people are dicks without dicks;)]
Well, I'm not entirely sure how to respond to your post. How about I start by correcting your assumption that I'm the DAD -- I'm the MOM. As for your troll litany, frankly I found it pretty entertaining because it's based on another assumption...and you know what they say about assuming.
Anyway, sorry you've had similar experiences. The fact that you admitted to feeling bullied actually made me feel better for starting this discussion to begin with. But as you also suggest, I suspect that over time the pros will outweigh the cons...so we'll see how it goes...
im saying that they might just not want to play with him(assuming its like a group invite for xbox)
lol I got that part..but you said something about if they were playing a different game? I get that people don't necessarily want to play with everyone else...I just don't like the mid-game kicking, when you're not doing anything wrong....
...I'm sorry...but at the same time, cry me a river. its a dog eat dog world. And the internet is one place where you can't hide behind your participation trophy or your political correctness.
But you can act like a jerk and hide behind the anonymity of the web.
Some servers have a rule where 13+ people are allowed on it for a fair reason, but that was usually classic, and they are saying false information to players. The rule is to prevent harassment to the other kids, but if they're making the message unprofessional like this:
Logged off of server
kicked for not being 13+ How stupid
Then that's not fair AT ALL. But if it says something like this:
Logged off of server
kicked for not being 13+ Sorry, it's to prevent harassment.
Then I find that fair. But the servers have their own operators and the operator has his or her decision, whether to be a total idiot with their rules and have ridiculous rules like this:
Do not stare at the owner or ban. MCBans is on!
There are a whole bunch of fair servers on the PC version, and they only have game related rules like this:
No griefing!
I've never seen a 13+ rule on PC version except for classic.
Huh, some interesting points. And I get the distinctions you raise. They don't really apply in this case though, as it's the other kids...not the servers (or those assigned by servers with special rights)...who were doing the kicking out. The notification would be something along the lines of "you have been kicked out by one of the players in this game". Plus all the kids are his classmates, 11 and 12 year olds...
I also feel for your situation. Try playing with your son on the Xbox, just you and him playing Minecraft. I'm not sure if you can do it, since I only have the PC version, but a father-son interaction, especially in a videogame, is a unique and wonderful experience, for father and son. It will let you find out what you do in the game, if you feel the game is inappropriate, slang and phrases that comes from the game, and generally let you know how your son is feeling when he gets frustrated or disappointed with the game. Playing a videogame with your son will also create a safe play environment for them, it will make him feel sure that no matter what happens in the game, that you're always there for him, and many more things. I could go on, but I'm sure that you and many other know of the incredible benefits of father to son interactions, especially in videogames. I could not state how awesome it is to play games with you son.
Have a great day!
Hi there,
First, thanks so much for your compassion about this situation. I really struggled with it before deciding to look for some place to vent about it...and for the most part, everyone's been helpul and supportive.
Secondly, while I completely appreciate your suggestions for father-son time on Xbox...I'm actually the MOM . Nevertheless, he does do a lot of this stuff with his dad, and will continue to do so as we navigate this new system. He and I play cards ....
Could just be his friends being mean or something. They could be getting full of themselves and trying to impress others by the power of kicking. Thats how my friends are, thats why I switched to PC. For some reason, some kids my age thinks its cool to have online friends and ditch real life friends.
Hi I'll add my two cents worth. I don't know anything about how the x-box minecraft servers work. I do know how PC versions work and even then it takes some time to find a server that is the right "fit" for you. I do know that in the pc servers there are a few kid/family friendly ones out there and the staff are on top of things and the power to kick- mute-ban are not given to just anyone. It took me and my son a fair amount of looking but we found one a little over a year ago and are still there.
This can happen and you should find some nice friendly servers,not childish servers with 12 year old admins who think they have the right to kick and ban players,without thinking twice about how it'll really hurt the victim player.
And imo you should get used to it,it's part of the internet,i once got bullied too by an european on an mmorpg,it's 2 years ago because i wasn't that good in english i got pwned hard and almost rage quitted,but finally rage quitted after finding my stuffs were all gone for no reason,i think my neighbor peeked when i was typing my password.
And im still trying to find out who was that bullying european guy,no avail :/
As the saying goes, absolute power corrupts absolutely. With someone at that age, if they have the power it will be abused. If anything it sounds like the admin's parents need to be a little more involved with their kids online activities. It's tough at that age, trying to fit in, trying to be 'popular' or at least trying to be accepted. It sucks, for sure, but you sound like a good Mom that will make him realize this isn't on him.
It sounds like he was on a server with some 'friends' so the admin had to show how awesome he was by being a jerk. It's an unfortunate part of growing up, and hopefully he'll be able to realize quickly, being popular in school doesn't mean one iota once his school career has ended. Unfortunately I didn't realize this until later.
He must have at least one or two good friends he can start his own server with. I have a feeling you know all this already and as you said you were venting. I'm glad to see a lot of positive replies to your post, if anything to show there are a lot of good people on the internet, usually they tend to be the silent majority. Good luck to him in his future online playing, it is a lot of fun playing with someone you know and can trust completely.
Oh, and if you haven't already, you might try picking up that controller and playing along, since it's pretty easy on the XBox to coop on the same box from what I've read as well as on the PC now a days. Minecraft is quite fun and addicting. I've been playing steadily for a year come the 25th and have been having a great time. Mostly play single player, but I have one other friend I play on a server with now and then. People of all ages enjoy it, it's a great family game, you might want to give it a shot as well. I've heard of whole families on the PC making their own server and allowing only other family members or trusted friends of the family join in. Have fun!
Huh, some interesting points. And I get the distinctions you raise. They don't really apply in this case though, as it's the other kids...not the servers (or those assigned by servers with special rights)...who were doing the kicking out. The notification would be something along the lines of "you have been kicked out by one of the players in this game". Plus all the kids are his classmates, 11 and 12 year olds...
Thanks though, I appreciate your information.
Well there a couple of things that could be the cause of your son being kicked. Even thought you hear him being well-mannered and he may even be respectful towards things others have built, he could be doing things that others don't like. For instance, on some servers you can get kicked for cutting down trees (everyone needs lumber, so it seems like a logical thing to do) but not replanting them, as it ruins the natural landscape.
The way it seems though is that your son is being bullied (however I don't agree that kicking people from servers is bullying). You say your son is playing on a school server? Who is moderating/supervising this server? Did one of the kids at school randomly start a server, gave out the info to join it and then cherry picks who gets to play based on whatever criteria his crazy little head concocts then there really is nothing you can do. If the school itself designated the server he is on to be the school's "server", then you should have a talk with the guidance counselor or principal.
The disadvantage of playing games on the Xbox (or PS3 or Wii) is that they are designed for convenience and ease of use - they try to get you in the game as fast as possible and you usually end up playing with people you really don't want to be with. I started online gaming over a decade ago and I was a little older than your son, and I still think I was much too young to start online gaming. It is a brutal and hellish environment. I'm involved in many different gaming communities, and I would suggest trying another game but minecraft is probably the most appealing game around across most age groups and has a great, helpful community when compared to Blizzard made games (starcraft 2, world of warcraft, diablo 3) and League of Legends.
What I would suggest doing is take initiative and look (with your son) for a server that is a proper fit to play on. I will say you are at a disadvantage owning the xbox version, but I'm sure there are other kids (and parents) out there that are looking for people to play with in your sons age group, in fact I'm sure there many kids that face the same issue your son is facing. These forums are a great springboard, start some threads in the appropriate forum looking for young teens, other parents, and family friendly people to either join a server or to start one with. Trust me, there are a lot of people looking for healthy online environments for their kids to play and not everyone minds having young teens play with them (heck on the server I mainly play on we have a 12 year old girl while everyone else is in their mid-late 20's). Make sure you set clear, simple rules. Have responsible adults be the ones in charge, take turns moderating.
Too many parents fall into the trap of just buying their kid online games and treating it like any other toy - that you just hand it to the kid and they shut up for a few months and there are no consequences.
Do NOT just post your son's gamer tag. Wait for people to respond and cherry pick who you think are good people for your son to play with. Some of them might lie and end up being complete pricks and not who you thought they were, in which case you will be very thankful that the server kick command exists - so try to be involved for the first few weeks of starting up.
Holy hell, this thread is long. Not surprising, given the topic.
My two cents: there are two decent reasons a person gets kicked from a well-run server. Either he is being disruptive and/or destructive (griefing, doing things that overwork the server and make it lag, spamming the chat) or he is just an incredibly annoying person. This thread is too long and full of stupid for me to check if you've investigated this, but you should see if your boy is in either category. If he isn't, he's playing on a server run by people who get banned from servers worth playing on.
The biggest thing that separates internet bullying from real bullying is that you can just walk away and usually do the same thing with a different set of people.
I joined this forum to express my discontent about this subject. I do not know how to contact MINDCRAFT or their manufacturer.
Basically, we got our 12 year old son an xbox for Christmas. He has played Mindcraft online a lot and enjoys it quite a bit. He is somewhat shy socially, and I was pleased to see/hear him playing Mindcraft (he is a good player from what I've seen) with some other kids (all from the comforts of home). A couple of times in the last few days...he has been randomly "kicked out" of the games he was playing in by some of the other boys. One was in a game/party he had initiated.
I do not know the particulars of why this happened. He did not know either...and had asked one of the boys in a private message, but he didn't respond. Some of these kids that got involved in the games are some of the "popular" kids...and I suppose my son just got into a given game by association with someone else on the periphery.
So I'm not necessarily saying it's anyone's responsibility to allow him to keep playing, if they don't want him to play for whatever reason. But this method -- of "kicking someone out" -- and having that message displayed to my son (or whomever)....is ridiculous. It's bullying in it's basest form. Like they're on the playground at the school yard, and they won't let him play. It's completely random, and without just cause.
I have seen the effect this has had on him...and now he is reluctant to even play....for fear of being kicked off. Please don't say "well he must have been doing something wrong". He was not being abusive in any way shape or form (it's in our family room, so I hear every word).
No one is policing this. And at the very least, if the initiator of a given game can be kicked out, that's just ridiculous.
My primary gripe is the way this situation is being handled. As I said, I perceive it, it is BULLYING. And it makes me mad...that other boys...have somehow made a FUN experience for my son something that he now will only do with trepidation.
I don't imagine my son is the only victim of this. I certainly hope there is another adult or someone from Mindcraft who sees this...as I suspect the kids playing are just going to tell me to shut up.
EDIT 1/17: First, yes, I know it's MinEcraft....and secondly, I'm actually the MOM, not the father . Find it funny some people made the assumption I was the latter ....
Was him playing with "close" people (friends, or other kids from his school, etc.)?
Or was him playing with random people on the internet?
If he's playing with "close" people, maybe it can be bullying (but maybe it's not)
If he's playing with random people, then there is nothing you can do. Once I started playing an online game, I joined a room, and got kicked for no apparent reason.
Hi there,
Yes, he was playing with his classmates (6th grade) only. Clearly, the question of is it bullying or not has been debated on this thread...though I still think, given he didn't do anything wrong ("griefing" or being annoying, etc.), and appeared to be just the cool kids deciding he wasn't cool enough to play with, I'm still suggesting it was bullying. Having said that, I do understand the need for the "kicking out" option....and it's just going to be up to him (and us, as parents) to supervise those interactions more...and help him decide what his options are.
Its proabably cause he's 12, people don't like as they call "squeakers" (those who haven't hit puberty)
Well, the reason why the voice of a 12 year old goes to a voice of a 3 year old is because we haven't found out a better way to make stereo inputs (mics). They're still very basic and we kind of only jumped like, 3 versions from the first electronic microphone.
If the kids are all the same age then you can understand how something bad could come of this. People argue, and forget it when kids argue over the Xbox, a war is bound to happen. You should hear the stuff that comes out of their mouth's. But anyways, kids will be kids. This is the same thing that happens in schools all throughout the world (as you pointed out). The host cannot be booted on Xbox, they could have booted him for a number of reasons. So your child might have been in a game doing something that they didn't want to happen, and a boot ensued. Xbox is not suitable for everyone, to be honest your son's best bet is to play with real life friends that he knows, or by himself. Depending on the video games he plays, he will experience A LOT more bullying on different games.
Kicking people out of the game is necessary, like if someone is destroying your stuff. If they didn't want to play with him, they can just boot him and move on. No one needs to explain, like the ratings say "Ratings change for online play".
Remember if they are "teenagers" they will act the part. Bullying is quite consistent in this age group, even if it's online.
Tell your son not to sweat it and move on (early life lesson)
Your advice of "not to sweat it and move on" seems to be pretty consistent with the other comments I've been getting on this thread. Guess there are going to be bad apples in every group...and he's just going to have to learn the best way to navigate around them. I also understand now, based on the feedback so far, why the kicking off feature is necessary...it still just irritates me that in can be used to bully (which I still believe it was in these few instances).
As an aisde, your "kids will be kids" comment was a bit disheartening too....but this certainly isn't the format for THAT discussion ...
Yes, he was playing with his classmates (6th grade) only. Clearly, the question of is it bullying or not has been debated on this thread...though I still think, given he didn't do anything wrong ("griefing" or being annoying, etc.), and appeared to be just the cool kids deciding he wasn't cool enough to play with, I'm still suggesting it was bullying. Having said that, I do understand the need for the "kicking out" option....and it's just going to be up to him (and us, as parents) to supervise those interactions more...and help him decide what his options are.
Thanks for your comments...
If it's the whole 6th grade class, then it's bullying. What I'm thinking is that a bully somehow became OP somehow and kicked off your son. I'm not sure, he needs a more professional server to play on or something.
Kicking people out of the game is necessary, like if someone is destroying your stuff. If they didn't want to play with him, they can just boot him and move on. No one needs to explain, like the ratings say "Ratings change for online play".
Remember if they are "teenagers" they will act the part. Bullying is quite consistent in this age group, even if it's online.
Tell your son not to sweat it and move on (early life lesson)
Well, I'm not entirely sure how to respond to your post. How about I start by correcting your assumption that I'm the DAD -- I'm the MOM. As for your troll litany, frankly I found it pretty entertaining because it's based on another assumption...and you know what they say about assuming.
Anyway, sorry you've had similar experiences. The fact that you admitted to feeling bullied actually made me feel better for starting this discussion to begin with. But as you also suggest, I suspect that over time the pros will outweigh the cons...so we'll see how it goes...
lol I got that part..but you said something about if they were playing a different game? I get that people don't necessarily want to play with everyone else...I just don't like the mid-game kicking, when you're not doing anything wrong....
Thanks for coming back to check on that...
But you can act like a jerk and hide behind the anonymity of the web.
Appreciate your thoughts...
Glad it wasn't just me who thought so....
Huh, some interesting points. And I get the distinctions you raise. They don't really apply in this case though, as it's the other kids...not the servers (or those assigned by servers with special rights)...who were doing the kicking out. The notification would be something along the lines of "you have been kicked out by one of the players in this game". Plus all the kids are his classmates, 11 and 12 year olds...
Thanks though, I appreciate your information.
Hi there,
First, thanks so much for your compassion about this situation. I really struggled with it before deciding to look for some place to vent about it...and for the most part, everyone's been helpul and supportive.
Secondly, while I completely appreciate your suggestions for father-son time on Xbox...I'm actually the MOM . Nevertheless, he does do a lot of this stuff with his dad, and will continue to do so as we navigate this new system. He and I play cards ....
Thanks though!
PS I'm a mom too.
And imo you should get used to it,it's part of the internet,i once got bullied too by an european on an mmorpg,it's 2 years ago because i wasn't that good in english i got pwned hard and almost rage quitted,but finally rage quitted after finding my stuffs were all gone for no reason,i think my neighbor peeked when i was typing my password.
And im still trying to find out who was that bullying european guy,no avail :/
Let's be friends...
It sounds like he was on a server with some 'friends' so the admin had to show how awesome he was by being a jerk. It's an unfortunate part of growing up, and hopefully he'll be able to realize quickly, being popular in school doesn't mean one iota once his school career has ended. Unfortunately I didn't realize this until later.
He must have at least one or two good friends he can start his own server with. I have a feeling you know all this already and as you said you were venting. I'm glad to see a lot of positive replies to your post, if anything to show there are a lot of good people on the internet, usually they tend to be the silent majority. Good luck to him in his future online playing, it is a lot of fun playing with someone you know and can trust completely.
Oh, and if you haven't already, you might try picking up that controller and playing along, since it's pretty easy on the XBox to coop on the same box from what I've read as well as on the PC now a days. Minecraft is quite fun and addicting. I've been playing steadily for a year come the 25th and have been having a great time. Mostly play single player, but I have one other friend I play on a server with now and then. People of all ages enjoy it, it's a great family game, you might want to give it a shot as well. I've heard of whole families on the PC making their own server and allowing only other family members or trusted friends of the family join in. Have fun!
Well there a couple of things that could be the cause of your son being kicked. Even thought you hear him being well-mannered and he may even be respectful towards things others have built, he could be doing things that others don't like. For instance, on some servers you can get kicked for cutting down trees (everyone needs lumber, so it seems like a logical thing to do) but not replanting them, as it ruins the natural landscape.
The way it seems though is that your son is being bullied (however I don't agree that kicking people from servers is bullying). You say your son is playing on a school server? Who is moderating/supervising this server? Did one of the kids at school randomly start a server, gave out the info to join it and then cherry picks who gets to play based on whatever criteria his crazy little head concocts then there really is nothing you can do. If the school itself designated the server he is on to be the school's "server", then you should have a talk with the guidance counselor or principal.
The disadvantage of playing games on the Xbox (or PS3 or Wii) is that they are designed for convenience and ease of use - they try to get you in the game as fast as possible and you usually end up playing with people you really don't want to be with. I started online gaming over a decade ago and I was a little older than your son, and I still think I was much too young to start online gaming. It is a brutal and hellish environment. I'm involved in many different gaming communities, and I would suggest trying another game but minecraft is probably the most appealing game around across most age groups and has a great, helpful community when compared to Blizzard made games (starcraft 2, world of warcraft, diablo 3) and League of Legends.
What I would suggest doing is take initiative and look (with your son) for a server that is a proper fit to play on. I will say you are at a disadvantage owning the xbox version, but I'm sure there are other kids (and parents) out there that are looking for people to play with in your sons age group, in fact I'm sure there many kids that face the same issue your son is facing. These forums are a great springboard, start some threads in the appropriate forum looking for young teens, other parents, and family friendly people to either join a server or to start one with. Trust me, there are a lot of people looking for healthy online environments for their kids to play and not everyone minds having young teens play with them (heck on the server I mainly play on we have a 12 year old girl while everyone else is in their mid-late 20's). Make sure you set clear, simple rules. Have responsible adults be the ones in charge, take turns moderating.
Too many parents fall into the trap of just buying their kid online games and treating it like any other toy - that you just hand it to the kid and they shut up for a few months and there are no consequences.
edit: Try this section of the forum: http://www.minecraftforum.net/forum/171-find-players/
Do NOT just post your son's gamer tag. Wait for people to respond and cherry pick who you think are good people for your son to play with. Some of them might lie and end up being complete pricks and not who you thought they were, in which case you will be very thankful that the server kick command exists - so try to be involved for the first few weeks of starting up.
My two cents: there are two decent reasons a person gets kicked from a well-run server. Either he is being disruptive and/or destructive (griefing, doing things that overwork the server and make it lag, spamming the chat) or he is just an incredibly annoying person. This thread is too long and full of stupid for me to check if you've investigated this, but you should see if your boy is in either category. If he isn't, he's playing on a server run by people who get banned from servers worth playing on.
The biggest thing that separates internet bullying from real bullying is that you can just walk away and usually do the same thing with a different set of people.
How to not die in a cave
sorry, was trying to edit first post...didn't know how to delete this...
Hi there,
Yes, he was playing with his classmates (6th grade) only. Clearly, the question of is it bullying or not has been debated on this thread...though I still think, given he didn't do anything wrong ("griefing" or being annoying, etc.), and appeared to be just the cool kids deciding he wasn't cool enough to play with, I'm still suggesting it was bullying. Having said that, I do understand the need for the "kicking out" option....and it's just going to be up to him (and us, as parents) to supervise those interactions more...and help him decide what his options are.
Thanks for your comments...
Your advice of "not to sweat it and move on" seems to be pretty consistent with the other comments I've been getting on this thread. Guess there are going to be bad apples in every group...and he's just going to have to learn the best way to navigate around them. I also understand now, based on the feedback so far, why the kicking off feature is necessary...it still just irritates me that in can be used to bully (which I still believe it was in these few instances).
As an aisde, your "kids will be kids" comment was a bit disheartening too....but this certainly isn't the format for THAT discussion ...
Thanks so much for your input.